Lumpy Bumpy Grumpy

My mini disappearing act — which went wholly unnoticed since I don’t blog daily, anyway — was not because I was busy having a grand old time.  (Though it was kind of nice to have the pool mostly to myself last night!)  It was because I was doing what I do best … burrowing into an imaginary hole when I probably should be crawling out of it.  But whatever.

I’m not going to go into the whole spiel, because nobody is interested in hearing it, and I’m not interested in whining about it, but the gist of it is that I feel fat.  I don’t mean that in a metaphorical sense; I mean that I literally think I am eating too much and am therefore gaining too much weight that I do not need to gain, and it is freaking the hell out of me, and I don’t want to think about this anymore so I am going to shut up now.  (And I am seeing my endocrinologist next month, and he just might have a heart attack when he sees this.  A totally legitimate concern, by the way — he’s an old man!)

Moving on.

My foot hurts.  It has been raining for days.  Even though I like to run in the rain, I was half tempted to skip or postpone this morning’s run (six miles, four tempo)… but I decided to give it a try.  If it hurt a lot, I could always turn around and go home, right?

This is my rule regarding running when something hurts: it’s fine, if it doesn’t cause me to alter my form.  Except that in this case, when it hurts to put weight on my heel, that might not necessarily be a bad thing, since I shouldn’t be heel striking anyway!

I have no idea where that came from.  And the weirdest part of it all is that during the first and last (read: slowest) miles, my foot hurt, but during the faster miles, it felt fine.  Unless I just didn’t realize that it hurt, but I find that highly unlikely.

Also, I need to say that I’m pretty annoyed!  In the middle of Mile 4, I came across a dog.  I’m as far from a “dog person” as it is possible to get, so I have no idea what breed it was — it had a squashed-in face reminiscent of a bulldog, but I’ve never seen a black bulldog before.  What it did not have was a collar.  Or an owner anywhere nearby.  In fact, there wasn’t anybody else around at all, at least not that I could see.  Forgive me, but I believe my paranoia about encountering dogs while running is completely justified, and so I had to stop until it was out of my sight.  If not for that little encounter, I would have broken 8:00.  Dogs must hate me.  Ah, well, they can just get in line.

Then I spent the day walking like a crazy person, because it’s hard to walk on your forefoot only.  And I also spent half an hour in Whole Foods, waiting in an express line to buy Chobani that (obviously) wasn’t even for me.  Have I mentioned that I’m feeling really irritable lately?

A couple of weeks ago, I bought a package of silken tofu, but I never got around to using it for its intended purpose.

Can you read that expiration date?… Yeah, I couldn’t, either.  September something.  Okay, then.  I decided to try my hand at something that’s been piqueing my curiousity for a while: scrambled tofu!

Tofu, mushrooms, snow peas (weird, but I needed to use them up), turmeric, nutritional yeast, salt, pepper, sweet paprika.  I wasn’t really a fan… the flavor was fine, but I did not like the texture at all.  It was too… mushy.

Oh, and about those chickpeas… much of it just got dumped in salads, but I did use some to make curried barley chickpea salad.

It was really good, except that I was a bit too heavy-handed with the curry powder!  When will I ever learn?…

Oh, and I’m also irritated because Amazon keeps sending me those “you might be interested in…” e-mails, and it’s annoying the hell out of me, since I already bought that, and I wish you’d hurry up and ship it!!

Hey, I said I was grumpy.  Can’t say I didn’t warn you.

And I have something in the oven that should have been taken out, oh, twenty minutes ago, so I should probably go do that before I burn the house down.

Happy Thursday.

“Boredom is the feeling that everything is a waste of time; serenity, that nothing is.” 
~Thomas Szasz


3 responses to “Lumpy Bumpy Grumpy

  1. Just to be a massively annoying person, I would point out that you’re not the best judge of how much “too much” is when it comes to eating or weight. In the nicest possible way, and casting no aspersion on your character – it’s just a fact that people with eating disorders will usually underestimate how much they need to eat/weigh to stay healthy by a fair amount, even if they know logically what the guidelines say for their activity level/gender/age etc. Yes, I am master of the obvious 😀 and I also know that no amount of logic will stop anyone from feeling fat, because it’s not usually a feeling which is grounded in logic. It’s like trying to fight fire with a reasoned argument. But you know, I like you and I have to have a go 😛

    If you disappeared for more than a day or two I would notice. I always notice when you go missing! You’ve been blogging about the same length of time as I have, and you’re the only blogger I’ve been following from the beginning who I still follow. Apologies for dreadful sentence structure there, I just got up.

    Not a fan of scrambled tofu here either. I just can’t get past the texture!

  2. I wasn’t able to notice that you were missing because I was missing myself 😦 But I would definitely notice if you were away for too long! I would just e-mail/Twitter stalk you until you reappeared, though 😀

    And as for the whole fat feeling thing… I went through something really similar when I started out working out more. I felt myself gaining weight faster than when I wasn’t exercising, but it was mostly in the form of muscle… which logically I knew, but didn’t help quieten those nagging feelings at first. You’ve been running and training a lot lately, so you might be going through the same thing. Either that, or it’s just all in your head 😛

  3. im liking the idea of a combination of chickpeas and barley 😛

    here dogs run loose everywhere..whenever you run you have to leap and dash and jump over hoops just to get past them… theres many times i have run with my mom and she has said some profanities…but i dont blame her when they run right into you! lol

    xoxo ❤

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