Detachment

I have attachment issues.  That is, I can’t / won’t get attached to people.  Mostly because historically, it’s been a wasted effort on my part.  I don’t like to hang around where I’m not wanted.  Maybe that’s given me a skewed perception of such matters, but I’ve been pondering the whole “blogging relationship” thing lately.

A lot of bloggers say that they’ve met amazing people through blogging.  I won’t discount that, except that personally, I don’t know that I’d use the word “met.”  It’s like looking at someone from afar and acknowledging their existence, but not having the give-and-take of a relationship.  Can you really say that you’ve met that person?  Given my innate hermitic nature, I’m not sure I’d say that I’m terribly anguished over this, but it does bug me, because I already felt enough like a freak.  No need to help things along in that regard!

On a semi-related note, it used to really bother me that I could see how many views a particular post got, but due to lack of comments, I had no idea who was reading.  Don’t ask me what happened, or why, because I don’t know — but suddenly, it really doesn’t matter anymore.  I don’t care.

This could be seen as both a positive and a negative.  Positive because, well, why should the actions (or lack thereof) of someone else have any impact on my mood?  Negative because it could be seen as just giving up — like, oh, whatever, here we go again.

On to more menial matters!  Such as the fact that in terms of dragging-on-forever, today was even worse than yesterday.  It started out with me not getting enough sleep.  And eating breakfast these days takes longer than it should — it turns into a whole affair because I have to dig my cereal and granola out of their “hiding places.”  Then the girl who was supposed to open the gym didn’t show.  (Shocking, right?)  I went to another one — and I took the subway instead of walking, because I had to make a stop for my mom, but I hate the subway.  The day just dragged on and on and on and on and on.  How is it possible that 5.00 AM to 5.00 PM takes far longer to get through than 5.00 PM to 5.00 AM?!

romaine, roasted red kuri squash, tempeh, sugar snap peas

The skin of the squash is much better cold.  (However, I believe that pretty much everything is better cold.)

I saw this in the supermarket last night, and my curiosity was piqued… so much so that I bought the chocolate orange flavor, since they were all out of the chocolate variety!

It was very similar to this bar.  Taste-wise, it was okay — chocolate with a hint of orange — but it literally felt like I was eating crispy, chocolate- and orange-flavored air.  They’re just not very substantial!

I also tried something else that was new to me:

Lundberg Farms Organic Risotto Florentine

This was an exercise in mishaps… I only used a quarter of the rice and the seasoning mixture, so I quartered the amount of water.  But in true-to-me genius fashion, I neglected to quarter the cooking time, and the mess in my microwave was outstanding.  So I can’t really speak to its texture.  The flavor was pretty good, though it didn’t strike me as “risotto” at all.  Granted, I’ve only had it once, and I wasn’t a fan — far too creamy for my taste.  I’ll finish this box (cooking it for a shorter amount of time!), but I don’t think this is a repeat purchase for me.

Gorgeous earrings which were sent to me by Jessica; thank you again!  😀

Once I suffer through the work day, tomorrow marks the start a very busy few days… not in a good way!  On the plus side, by Saturday night, I will not have to face Yom Kippur for another whole year.  And now, instead of reading the last twenty pages of the least amusing amusing book ever written, I will leave it for tomorrow as a subway treat, and get to bed in anticipation of the horrors to come.

Yes, I am being overly dramatic.  I hope!

Have a great Thursday.

“Untold suffering seldom is.”
~Franklin P. Jones

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9 responses to “Detachment

  1. I love your hair, its gorgeous, and so are the earrings! 🙂 Sorry today was so long for you!
    Maddi

  2. Whenever I visit NY, I keep thinking of asking you out…but I kind of got the feeling you would say no. Dettachment issues..hm, I dunno what to think about that, because I honestly feel you are missing out on great experiences, relationships, and just a good time.

    You’re not a freak though. Some people have a harder time opening up, that’s all. That’s just who you are, so no need to force it. I think you’re pretty cool though!

  3. I love your wit and sense of humor in your posts. You seem like an incredibly hard worker and strong willed woman 🙂

  4. I second the opinion that you are not a freak: when people have treated you badly in the past and relationships have deteriorated it’s natural to be cautious. I probably wouldn’t use the word ‘met’ either unless I had actually been out with the person in ‘real’ life, because then you do have a real-time reciprocal dialogue and it honestly feels very natural, like reuniting with an old friend you haven’t seen for a while. If I didn’t think I’d annoy you too much, I would love to ‘meet’ you in person if I ever managed to overcome my fear of flying!

    So happy you like the earrings! I drove the people in the shop nuts choosing them…because I am not a jewellery-wearer myself I always take absolutely ages choosing things for other people.

    Roll on Saturday 🙂

    *hugs*

    ~Jess~
    xxxxxxxx

  5. I met my boyfriend through an internet forum, and I’ve met several bloggers in real life, so I get to use the word 😉 but I know what you mean! There’s such a crossover between “real life” and the internet/social networking now. I know that personally I was far closer to my online friends than anyone in my day to day life for a good decade of my life. Sad but true, the internet is the refuge of many shy, different, chronically ill and/or socially isolated people, myself included.

    Hah I’ve given up worrying about high views/low comments too! I think it happens to all bloggers.

    Not so long until Saturday 🙂

  6. I can understand the issue of attachment, but I find that when I open up and let people in, I actually dont get hurt (like I suspect) and I feel kinda better. I feel very close to some bloggers (dont get freaked out, like yourself for example) because blogs are little gateways into our minds. You dont get that from the people you “see” day to day. Plus, the jew/israel factor automatically unites us in a weird way. Like this one time I saw next to a woman on a plane. She saw my “hamsa” necklace and was like, “o are you one of us?” and although kinda weird, I instantly felt like she understood me a little better.
    O and I totally gave up on worrying about the comments. I myself barely have time to read so I dont expect other too.

  7. hey you! 🙂
    i’m guarded as well. it’s been really hard getting me to open up to people. i’m always here for you, just as you have been here for me 🙂 sometimes it’s just really hard to get attached, and people have to accept that. I’ve been burned by a ton of people.

    and you’re not a freak. never.

    man! i still need to do the djion thing! i did squirt a ton on my tuna today!

  8. Love the earrings!

    I think it is really easy to think you know someone online, and to find out they are not who you think. However, I literally met my best friend by blogging. Now we see each other usually once a week! 🙂

    Don’t give up! 🙂

  9. Pingback: So. BORED. |

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