What Does A Body Need?

Nothing… at least, when it comes to mine.  This morning, though I managed to refrain from doing so on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, I weighed myself.  It is exactly a week since my initial freakout, and it’s the same scale, so all factors should be the same.  As in, if undereating = a maintenance amount, then why the hell do I even bother?!  Or something like that.

I texted my nutritionist to tell her that this is why it is not “fine”: I can hardly remember the last time my calories exceeded X, and I should not be gaining on that.  I’m not even supposed to be gaining, anyway!!  She answered with this:

1. You should not be counting calories; 2. On Monday I’ll check your diet and count the kcal, and if it really is low, you should contact your endocrinologist to discuss adjusting the meds; 3. Your weight is good.  You should not be using your own scale; 4. You need to eat all of your meals today and Shabbos.  No skipping breakfast or lunch or snack.  If you get out of range I’ll lower the kcal until you speak with the endocrinologist.

Now, I just so happen to have an appointment with my endocrinologist next week.  But I do not understand how this is supposed to help.  If I can only maintain on a restrictive amount of calories, exactly how am I any better off than I was a few months ago?!  This is really freaking me out, and the more I think about it, the more terrified I become, because it’s like rubbing my face in the fact that I really should be afraid of food.  Apparently, it doesn’t agree with me.  😦

That means that everything after this line is accompanied with a heavy sense of guilt and disgust. But I don’t need to get into that.

I’ve been craving for French toast for weeks, but I didn’t want to make it on a Friday since I’m going to be eating challah again tonight.  But when else am I going to have time to do it?!  So I dug some challah out of my freezer, soaked it in a mixture of almond milk, egg whites and cinnamon, and cooked it up on my griddle pan.  (Side note: I need to buy a new nonstick skillet, because my mom was sauteeing some onions and they burned, and she was having a hard time cleaning it so she attacked it with a ball of steel wool.  Bye bye, Teflon coating.  Given her affinity for steel wool, we have agreed that the “ruined” pan will be hers, and the new one will be mine.)

I liked this better the first time I made it; it was missing something this time.  I think it’s a combination between my forgetting the Truvia, and the challah not having time to get a little stale before soaking.

One of my co-workers told me that he and his wife have an overabundance of vegetables from their CSA, and so he gave this to me:

Looks like I’ll be making some zucchini pasta next week!  As for the fennel — I’ve never tried it, and I don’t think I’d like it, as I’m not a fan of licorice… but my mom loves the stuff, so she might like this.  And the kohlrabi, which I originally thought was celeriac… well, what am I supposed to do with it??

Last week, I made this pancake muffin thing:

A few people asked for the “recipe,” so I tried it again, but this time I paid attention to the measurements.  I made it “neapolitan” by using vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry protein powders.  (I will confess that I added a drop of red food coloring, because the strawberry batter wasn’t pink enough for my liking, but I really wish I hadn’t done that!)

30g whole wheat pancake mix
10g protein powder*
one egg white
sweetener (optional; I used a packet of Truvia)
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/4+ cup water

*Use any flavor you’d like; I used 3g each vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry, plus about a teaspoon of cocoa powder in the chocolate blend.

Basically, what I did was combine the pancake mix with the egg white, Truvia, baking powder and water, and blend until smooth.  Then divide it into three equal portions, adding one flavor of protein powder to each one, and stir well until combined.  You might need to add some more liquid at this point to prevent it from being one big clump instead of a batter!  Bake at 350 for about half an hour, or until it looks done.  Oh, and grease the dish well; it’s very hard to remove, for some reason.

There are, as usual, two frozen confections to be tried over the weekend.  But because I absolutely refuse to eat so late at night, I tried the first one already.

Sharon’s Sorbet, Dutch Chocolate:

Because I didn’t try this on Shabbos, I actually got to take a picture of the product itself.

In one of my new miniature bowls… my dad has taken to calling me Lilliputian because of my love for undersized tableware / utensils.  As flattering a nickname as any, I suppose… Oh, yes, wasn’t I supposed to be reviewing this?!  In short: love.  It has a nice dark chocolatey flavor, but it’s not overly bitter, and it’s smoother than ice cream… not quite as “heavy,” if that makes any sense.  I would definitely buy this again.

I just thought I would mention that the month of August is going to be brutal, fiscally speaking.  There’s my vacation (though I guess I’m paying for that in July, since my credit card bill should be arriving any day now), where I will have to pay for my dives and anything else I do there; and I made an appointment today at Ouidad, because my hair is in a truly frightful, desperate state.  But not with my stylist, who will be on vacation then.  Boo.

Anyway, I am off to brave the weekend.  Have a good one.

P.S. Don’t forget to enter my giveaway!

“It is easy to be brave from a safe distance.”


12 responses to “What Does A Body Need?

  1. Oh gosh this all sounds so complicated. Ugh I hate trying to figure out calories, maintaining, and all that crap.. I’m kind of confused though to be honest on whats going on with you maybe I missed something earlier this week? I maintained my weight on a VERY VERY low amount of calories for almost 12 months. I’m not sure this is what your talking about though? Ugh, im confused so im just going to give up trying to write feedback of some substance. Sorry love, wish I could be of more help

    Dana xo

  2. A neapolitan protein muffin? Genius! It’s too bad that I only have vanilla protein powder 😦 I have a hard enough time trying to decide between flavors, so I try to keep my options limited when I can… Saves me some time in the kitchen.

    Your body does need food, hun, despite what your mind is trying to tell you. Especially delicious food like chocolate ice cream (!!). I wish you would stop being so hard on yourself and thinking your body is some kind of abnormal freak… it’s not. Everyone’s body does something weird and that’s… normal. Mine doesn’t always react the way I want it to, but what can you do? Just gotta roll with the punches.

  3. traynharder23

    hey you. sorry you’re stressin’ out. i had a freak out in the fitting room yesterday. sizes and mirrors suck.

    and wow! neapolitan! that’s awesome. i don’ thave any pancake mix, but i’d love to try it! looks striking.

    hun, see you tomorrow at 6 right? waiting for your emails. =/

  4. As for the Kohlrabi – try putting it in the food processor with an apple and some lemon juice, it makes for a very refreshing, moist salad-y thing. Trust me, it’s delicious.
    Please don’t freak out too much – at least your N thinks everything is still under control right? Maybe your meds just need adjusting and you’ll be fine. I feel you though – I’ve always maintained on very low amounts compared to other ppl, even when not restricting. Bottom line: life is unfair.

  5. ~Jessica Zara~

    That Neapolitan protein cake is a work of art! Makes me wish there was such a thing as strawberry Sun Warrior 😉

    And that dark chocolate sorbet? I would be in heaven. Honestly, I’d finish the entire tub in about ten seconds. It looks divine.

    I know it’s difficult but please try to listen to your nutritionist ~ these guys want to work with/for you and not against you, and I really, really hope the situation is resolved soon and you can maintain on the amount of calories you want to. Are you at a totally healthy weight though? Because if you’re still under or even at the lowest end of ‘normal’ then your body might well struggle because it ‘wants’ to be higher. Irritating as hell, I know, and I sympathise so much.



  6. neopolitan? Cool! It’s so pretty. 🙂

    Hope everything works out, my dear. The body is smarter than you think. Even if you undereat, it will adjust itself so that it doesn’t use as much calories as it usually does. So eat up. And try to stop overthinking it…it’ll make everything worse.

  7. imaginenamaste

    oh wow! all of that seems so complicated! i hope that you can find answers between the nutritionist and the doctor!
    those muffins look awesome! enjoy them!

  8. I’m sure you know undereating causes your body to go into “starvation mode” and store what little food you give it so it has something to fuel itself with later. That’s why it’s so important to eat – and not restrict obsessively – because you’ll actually gain weight easier that way than if you eat a lot. My body finally started to look normal and process food normally only once I started to eat more than my self-imposed restriction of 1500 a day.

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