Freaking. Out.

Naturally, I snapped some random pictures today.  Because that’s just what I do.

I really, really want this.  Salivating over it.

To add to the collection:

I wanted to buy one in every color. But I restrained myself.  The color that I did buy coincidentally is a perfect match with the earrings I bought in St. Lucia.  (Recycled picture.)

And, also coincidentally, it’s pretty much the exact same shade as my cell phone case.

You think I might like that color? 😉

Squash attack!

Romaine, yellow squash, Smart Strips Chick’n, zucchini.  I guess that means there was a bit of a sodium attack happening too, but it’s all good.  Actually, it’s not.  I think the chick’n strips were funky, even though they didn’t expire until mid-July.  This salad did not make me very happy at all.


As in, it’s not bulgur.

My mom’s birthday dinner is very likely going to be tomorrow.  I am freaking. out.  I don’t even know where we’re going; naturally, nobody else is choosing, so it’s up to me, and I can’t even settle on that.  It’s nerve-wracking to go somewhere I wouldn’t find anything I want to order; it’s even worse to go somewhere I would be able to find multiple things I want to order.  Restaurants creep me out — the portions are always so over-inflated, and I was totally raised as a “clean your plate whether or not you want to” kid, which is why I do not like having such enormous things put in front of me!  And I can’t even use the “wiggle room” excuse; I don’t have to gain weight.  Quite the contrary!  Eating enough for three people in one sitting is just not what I need right now.

Can you tell that I’m freaking out?  Oh, wait, I already said that.  And I can’t get through to my nutritionist, who is leaving tomorrow morning and so wouldn’t have time for me now in any case.  Help!!

My mom wants to go to this thing tonight — a play / video / movie / something like that — and is dragging me along.  I don’t particularly care to go; let’s not forget my (nonexistent) attention span!  But whatever, she wants to waste $20 on me, fine, I’ll just take a nap there.  Since I’m pretty sure I’ll be too busy being anxious to get much sleep tonight!

Happy Thursday.

“I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.”
~Jennifer Yane


13 responses to “Freaking. Out.

  1. traynharder23

    AWWW girl, i had my own freak out today! i know how you feel. but HUGSSSSS and i love that color. =D

    squash- i NEED squash. that squash. STAT. too bad $$$ is tight around here

  2. I like your new hoodie! I used to have so many, but somehow now all I’m left with is one of Ari’s. I have no idea how that happened.

    Good luck tomorrow. I have a feeling it’ll go more smoothly than you think 🙂

  3. deep breath first. okay.

    cute sweatshirt!

    the bday. Girl. Just say no. If you dont want to eat it, dont. If you do, do. I know this is probably over simplifying it but just take the reigns of power BACK. Everyone can snicker, say crap, etc…but you know what you need to do and you can do it 🙂


  4. I know how anxious you must feel about eating out. I hope it turns out o.k though in the end! Try to order something your comfortable with..dont stress out too much.

    I love that blue too 🙂

    Dana xo

  5. don’t worry darling!! it will be okay. just try not to be overwhelmed by the portion size. if it really is freaking you out, you can ask for a to go container at the beginning. that way, you can put the extra away and you won’t have to worry about it!

  6. Gorgeous blue, girly 🙂 I love that color, but I can’t wear it 😦 It just doesn’t look good on me.

    As for the dinner, just breathe, hun. It’s only one night and one dinner. It won’t change anything in the grand scheme of things so try and enjoy yourself. It’s normal for people to indulge every once in a while, and your body is smart enough to balance it out. I’m sure it won’t be as bad as your head is making it out to be ❤

  7. imaginenamaste

    I like your hoodie! I might have 3 of the same from the Gap…. 🙂 (in different colors).
    Go where you feel moderately comfortable–I’m sure your parents just want to enjoy the time with you! And, it is okay to freak you. You can eat what is needed at the restaurant and always finish it later!

  8. whenever i find a good zip up hoodie i always want a whole bunch to have around. especially when theyre really fun colored!

    i know ur freaking out of the dinner which is totally normal. but whats the worse that could happen, i can only see positive from the experience if maybe u challenge urself the best u can and let it be okay not to have control over what it is that is going to be on the menu. i know its really hard but its just thoughts and tricks ur mind is telling u…i really think this is a great opportunity for you to test yourself and ur ability- u will probably shock yourself and it could seriously be extremely eye opening!!

    if worse comes to worse remember that u can always say no to the food or like Becca said, take the rest to go.

    im rooting for you girl! i really think u need to do this!!

    xoxo ❤

  9. ~Jessica Zara~

    Lovely photos ~ I can only imagine how stunning they’d be with a shiny new camera.

    You do suit that colour exceedingly well, both in earring and sweater/jacket form.

    In terms of the restuarant, could you ask for a half portion of something before they bring it out? That way what ends up on your plate might not seem so overwhelming. I’m definitely in the ‘clean your plate’ mentality too and even if enough to feed four was put in front of me, I’d down the lot. I just don’t see you that way though, because as I’ve mentioned before your portions of anything and everything always seem pretty small. And even though you don’t ‘have’ to gain weight, you’re still very, very tiny. So in my opinion you’ve got more wiggle room than 99% of other people. I appreciate that doesn’t take the stress of the situation away though.

    I’ll be thinking of you.


  10. I know eating out is a really hard thing to do, I definitely struggle alot with it to. Just remind yourself you’ve done it before and you’ve survived. Pick something simple off the menu and just eat what you can of it, you dont have to eat it all but if you do feel like doing that, theres nothing wrong with that either. Its just one day, the body will average it out, normal people do this all the time and thye dont gain any extra weight. Think of the amount people eat at Christmas etc and it doesnt make them balloon up because it all evens out.

    I love that blue colour 🙂

  11. Good luck with the birthday dinner.. just remember eat what you want and you can always say no to certain things! It will be fine!

  12. Ooh, I love that blue 🙂 my duvet cover is that colour! The earrings are really pretty. Good luck at the birthday dinner ❤

  13. Pingback: Lust List « Blue Eyed Heart

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