Achy Breaky

Yesterday marked three years since my discharge from IP. I didn’t even realize it until today. Wonder what to make of that.

Last night, my podiatrist suggested that I see an orthopedist, because it’s possible that this recurring callus is not due solely to the way my foot falls, but because of the rotation of my hip.  Even though I seem to have a crop of crazy doctors, I think he might have a point.  I am too young to be having knee problems.  Speaking of which…

My running shoes have arrived!!  I am pretty sure they are the most awesome running shoes I have ever owned.  Okay, I’ve only had one pair before this one, but still.  😉  I am so excited to try them out (beyond the few dashes I took across my house), but I don’t know if I should… I think it might partially be attributed to these shoes, but my ankles are really bothering me.  My knees have been troublesome for years; this is something new.  I wanted to get a knee wrap, but apparently I am going to encounter the same problem I have when I try to buy boots: the circumference is too big.  Does anyone make knee wraps for kids?!

Romaine, roasted butternut squash, Lightlife Smart Sausage Chorizo Style, roasted baby bellas.

Yesterday, I spent way too long discussing with my pharmacist what on earth my endocrinologist meant with his calcium prescription.  But, since I was already in the pharmacy, I picked up a few packets of Spiru-tein in several flavors: banana, chocolate peanut butter, strawberry, and chocolate.  The reasoning behind this was that I would be able to take them when I go on vacation, but I can’t really stomach the idea of “raw” protein powder… so I decided to use it at home instead.

It smelled like peanut butter (actually, to be more precise, it smelled like PB2), but when all is said and done, after I mixed it with a tablespoon of applesauce, one egg white, a packet of Truvia, some baking soda, and had it do some weird things in the microwave…

…it didn’t taste like peanut butter.  It had a very faint chocolate flavor, but I knew I should have added cocoa powder!  Ah, well, I still have half of the packet to try that.  😉

And I also tried something else…

I used this over the weekend with soy ice cream, but that’s pretty soft anyway.  This scoop supposedly glides through cold ice cream (um, as opposed to what, hot ice cream?!)… so I figured that there was no better test of that than the hemp milk ice cream, which is truly hard as a rock.

You can’t really tell from the angle of this picture, but those aren’t neat little scoops.  I had to dip the scoop into hot water to get anything more than ice cream shavings.  Which is what I would have had to do with any other scoop.  But I still think it’s kind of neat.  😉  As a side note, am I the only one who likes it when the syrup hardens on the ice cream?

I mentioned that I’m less than thrilled about the impending holiday.  In addition to the usual things I’d dread — too much food, too many people (my sister is coming over for a meal, which means my triggering niece will be there too; oh, joy) — there is also the added dilemma of having to go out.  I do not go to synagogues if I can help it; I despise the whole social aspect of it.  The way I see it, G-d can hear me no matter where I am.  But.  There are a few times a year that I kind of have to go, and this is one of them (to hear the Ten Commandments).  I am dreading it.  I do not want to get all dressed up and go out.  It’s one thing for me to show my face in public if I can wear sweatshirts, but I can’t go to synagogue like that, and I am mortified to wear anything that isn’t “forgiving.”  (Read: in which I can’t hide.)

I usually see my therapist on Thursdays, but obviously I won’t be doing that this week.  I’m seeing her tomorrow instead, because she thought I “might need extra support before the holiday.”  Well.  Between this whole “family drama” issue, ordinary holiday stress, and what just happened, I think she might be right.

Because I am so tired (I’m talking to you, Mr. Endocrinologist — whom I must phone tomorrow), this is the short version: I saw my nutritionist tonight.  I do not want to lie and say that I am going to do something when I know there isn’t a chance in hell that it is going to happen.  I am freaking out over the different schedule / menu already; this is not helping.  And oh yeah, did I mention that I must be at X weight before she leaves for the summer in order to continue seeing her?  And that said weight is a higher one than I have been at in, well, three years?  Yeah.

I’m going to get out of here before my eyes cross themselves right out of their sockets.  I have nothing more to say.  (That’s a lie.)


Have a great Tuesday.

“Fear is static that prevents me from hearing myself.”
~Samuel Butler
(I am freaking deaf here.)


15 responses to “Achy Breaky

  1. traynharder23

    AWWW girl, feel better. mondays suck ass. mine did too. but i smiled through it!
    that is a weird ice cream scoop. we have a paddle so we ALWAYS get weird shaped scoops.


    love the earrings…wish mine were pierced!


  2. hmm i think thats still reason to celebrate! 3 years of being stronger and over coming some of the hardest struggles of ur life- inspirational to me!! ❤

    oh thank heaven for ice cream scoopers..ive bent so many good spoons from the damn hard frozen ice cream hah.

    mondays sometimes kick my ass, ur not alone. hopefully u'll feel much better tomorrow!! i get knee problems too btw. lately its really been upsetting me. not fun!


  3. congrats on 3 yrs!
    sorry bout the impending forced holiday/family stuff….ugh.

    the spirutein. i have heard some ppl love it and others are very…meh about it. Well, good to know your thoughts!

  4. Chillel Williams

    Oooh! Snazzy running shoes..I covet mine…mainly because they’re also pink..It helps that they’re very comfortable to run in too though.. 🙂

    Man oh man can i identify with your ‘circumference issues’..I ADORE boots..but every pair i own have a ridiculous GAPING flappy gap type thing at the calf that just WELCOMES snow to enter in winter..It’s lovely..
    I’ve sort of solved this by wearing a few too many pairs of knee high socks..but then my feet get squished…so..meh..not do much adding to the pain of the whole affair….

    Usually i adore your earrings..and today is no different…Im just more drawn to your shirt..It’s pretty!

  5. Such cute shoes! I love that they’re pinky pink!

  6. Not being in IP for three years is a huge accomplishment, hun, so be proud of the fact that you’re managing to get healthy on your own. And don’t think of it as “this will be the highest weight I’ve been in in X years”, think of it as “this is the healthiest that I’ve been in X years”. There’s no sense in lamenting being sick; nothing is worth being in the hellhole of an ED.

  7. you can get to X weight girl…keep adding whole foods more often…a REAL whole egg in your protein whatever that thing is… why dont you try mixing your protein powder with cream, soy milk or higher calorie food??

    about the religious thing, i LOVE going to church on Wednesdays after work. it serves to relax, destress and is the perfect mid week motivaotor to keep me going strong all week.

  8. Sorry to hear you arent looking forward to the vacation.. I know how you feel with the sweatshirts, I use to wear them everyday even if it was 80 out.

    Where did you get your shoes, what brand? I’ve been looking for some new running shoes? can you message me?

    Dana ❤

  9. Congrats on 3 years!

    I’m glad you’re liking running! Sometimes when I need some motivation, I get a new piece of workout paraphernalia.

    Good luck with the holiday…

  10. yeesh, the upcoming holiday sounds like a doozy. i know you can handle it though! good thing oyu’re seeing your therapist this week anyway, it’s always good to have a little boost before something potentially stressful. hope the podiatrist figures out your knee issue! most of my “issues” stem from my back (scoliosis) and are not actual foot/knee/ankle problems. weird huh?

  11. shavuah tov sweetie! i get tense around family holidays too – its so hard because my family really doesn’t get that i EAT, i just don’t eat the crap they want to stuff down my throat. it amuses me because everyone in my family complains about how “heavy” and “fattening” traditional food is – well guess what, they cook it, so they have the option of lightening it up … this is what i am trying to teach the fam these days. and as the child of a rabbi – oh gosh i feel you on the whole not-wanting-to-deal-with-the-social-aspect part of it!! SOOOOO freaking frustrating, having to be this FUNCTIONAL person when all you want is to be comfortable in your own private space. I hope all went well sweetie!!

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