If you noticed I was gone for a couple of days — it’s because I was actually busy.  If you didn’t notice, then never mind!

Last year, I explained my “tradition” of going to a baseball game on or around my birthday.  Because I do not want to go with someone who is only with me since I sponsored their ticket, the past couple of years I went with my dad.  But this year he won’t go, because some kid saw him there last year.  Said kid’s father did not want the kid to go, but the kid complained that it wasn’t fair, since “Even Rabbi X was there!”  Kid’s father complained to my dad that he didn’t know what to say to that, and so now my dad won’t go because it “doesn’t look right.”  That is really kind of pathetic… my own father doesn’t even want to spend time with me.  I guess I must be more horrible than I thought.  Because he feels bad, I guess, about leaving me in the lurch, he offered to pay for a pair of tickets for me and someone else.  But honestly?  I don’t see how that’s any different than me paying for my companion’s ticket.  I’d rather just go myself than spend time with someone who doesn’t even want to be there with me!  Am I completely crazy for feeling this way?!

Then my dad suggested I take my nephew.  I’ve actually taken one of my nephews to a game with me before, and it was fine; he’s a good kid.  But now that I have a few older nephews who are baseball fans, if I take one, I have to take them all.  It’s supposed to be my birthday tradition; I don’t want to spend it babysitting!

Like I always say… I hate birthdays.

I was inspired to give my protein pancakes another shot. Evidently, inspiration does not necessarily equal success.

20g soy protein powder, one egg white, packet Truvia, cinnamon, and 1/4 cup hemp milk.  I added some water because I thought it needed more liquid, but that was apparently overkill.  At least I discovered something I never would have known otherwise: blackberries and syrup are a good combination.

Oats + oat bran, cocoa powder, Truvia, banana (half cooked in), chunky peanut butter.

Vanilla yogurt, microwaved Apple Crispalicious Jamfrakas bar.  Yes, I am neurotic and diced the bar instead of crumbling it.

Popcorn and nooch… not a fan of this combination.  I’ll stick with salt here!

Pre-wrap: hommus, sprouts, soy nuts.  And no post-wrap photo, because, um, I didn’t feel like taking one?

Kashi Autumn Wheat, cinnamon, and hemp milk.  Which I just had to dilute with water, because the taste of it is so nasty!  I don’t usually like soggy cereal, but shredded wheat cereals like this are the exception, so I used hot water.

Asparagus stir-fry, tofu cutlet.

Okay, wow, that was a lot of food right there.  Yikes.  Anyway.

Lately, I have had this strange urge to run.  It doesn’t make any sense because I’ve never liked running, and my knees don’t like me to run either.  I can’t figure it out, but it’s driving me crazy.  Even if I did want to run, doing that in a skirt is kind of difficult.  As much as I hate treadmills, I hopped on one at the gym today — for exactly 1:34, because that thing was a million years old and wouldn’t go fast enough.  I didn’t want to go to the room with the shiny new treadmills because I tend to avoid heavily populated areas!  So I’m still wanting to run, and I don’t know why.  Except maybe that it’s symbolic of the fact that I quite literally do want to run away from everything!

I’m also getting the urge to go back to karate, but that, at least, makes sense to me.

And I will now get off the topic of urges before I wander into “dangerous” territory.

Good news: the Assignment from Hell is probably about 95% completed.  I just need to present it this week for feedback, and then e-mail the final version to the professor before the last day of classes.  It really is quite depressing to have spent so much time doing such a useless project, but I’m glad it’s nearly over!  Now to tackle the huge assignment for my other class… *gulp*

In the meantime, I’m going to just practice the whole “fake it ’til you make it” thing…

That would be me.  (Hahahahahaha…)  Can you tell I don’t even have any energy to complain??  Oh, my, I never thought that day would arrive…

Have a great start to your week.

“A person is never happy except at the price of some ignorance.”
~Anatole France


13 responses to “Gameless

  1. Do you think you would want to try running outside? It can be really enjoyable 🙂

    I’m sorry your birthday idea isn’t working out. What bad luck that that kid saw your dad 😦

  2. Hi!!

    Yes, stick with salt for the popcorn…it’s your best bet! 🙂

    Never tried nuts in my wrap or sammies…:O

    One day, you’ll get it right. I just got the ‘Brownie’ flavour out! Oat bran + Banana + chocolate never dissapoints, unlike pancakes xD


  3. Hey,

    I’ve been reading your blog for awhile. I am not a consistant or good commenter :/ I had no idea your dad was a rabbi .

    RE: the ballgame/birthday .
    I don’t think you’re crazy at all.
    I wouldn’t want to go to the ballgame with something to celebrate my birthday knowing the person is only going because i asked and because Im paying for them.
    Maybe you should start new tradition for your birthday, treat yourself. spa day or something

    p/s I cut my bars when used for “crumbling ” too.

  4. yay running! can’t really do that right now, but hey, SOON! =D
    love all the food you posted. yummy. i just ate stuff but now i’m hungry again! =D

    sorry about the pancakes. i should experiment too!

  5. I definitely noticed you were gone! But I forgive ya; it’s good to be busy once in a while 😉 Sorry about the situation with your dad, but I don’t think its because he doesn’t want to spend time with you. The act of balancing being a dad and a rabbi sounds a little complicated, and I’m sure he means well. I’d offer to go with you, but I’m not the biggest fan of baseball…

    And your persistence with the protein pancakes kills me. Maybe you should just go for some regular pancakes 😉

  6. I’m really sorry about your dad not being able to go to the game with you. If it makes you feel any better, my dad refuses to do things in public with me. It’s not that he doesn’t love me, it’s that he is even more stubborn than I am and refuses to do anything besides work/church/cycle.
    I hope you can find a way to enjoy your birthday, though.
    (And I hate my birthday, too.)

  7. im really introverted and independant.. and i cant be bothered by someone making me feel like im not entertaining them.. or that they arent into it. id rather be alone if thats the case.

    birthdays can be awful.. ive had some bad ones.. i realized to have to expectations and then they turn out okay.

    im so sorry that it was crappy for you, i really am 😦 that should never be the case, but ur a strong chickie, and im sure u’ll balance everything out

  8. your dedication to the protein pancakes makes me smile. i hope they turn out right someday soon! keep working on your school projects, they will be done before you know it, i bet 🙂

    i don’t think your dad doesn’t want to spend time with you, i just think that the kid put him in an awkward/uncomfortable situation. (and even so, it shouldn’t be your dad’s problem, but the kid’s father. so what if a rabbi goes to a baseball game?!) i don’t think it’s that bad if you just invite the one nephew, either. it’s YOUR birthday, you can go with whom you like! if you can’t think of someone else you’d like to invite, maybe it’s time for another bday tradition to start? spa day? museum day? day at the movies day?

    and you mentioned running is hard in a skirt. does it have to be a certain length? if mid-thigh is okay, have you seen running skirts? i have a nike one that i love, and i know that target sells them pretty cheap!

  9. Of course I noticed that you were missing! I was a little worried but I also knew that school was probably insane for you right now…I was just thinking of e-mailing or FBing you to see if you were okay when this post popped up 🙂

    I would be equally upset in your situation, but from an outsider’s perspective I really don’t think you should take your Dad’s actions personally. It doesn’t seem to me that he doesn’t want to spend time with YOU, just that his position makes the situation awkward for him and community pressures are hard to stand up against. I think he should put you first, and stuff his rabbi persona, but unfortunately it takes a heck of a lot of guts to do that. It’s not a negative reflection on you as a person! (FYI, I would sit through a million baseball games even though I don’t understand the rules if I had you as excellent company…if you actually wanted me there that is!)

    Love your coco oats/bran. I could eat six bowls of that right now…

    I think we both know my opinion on running 😉 It’s really theraputic and freeing when work/school etc. are creating a sense of entrapment. I never knew you had to wear a skirt to the gym! Can’t you wear leggings or anything or have I once again got the wrong end of the stick?

    Woohoo for the assignment from Hell almost being done ~ I knew you could rise to the challenge 🙂


  10. Sorry about the baseball game… maybe you could smuggle one of your nephews out and swear him to secrecy?

    You sure are determined to get those protein pancakes right! Kudos! I think I tried once, they were rubbery, and never tried again.

    Good for you for getting the running bug! What if you wore leggings and a really light – like, gauze- skirt over it?

  11. fake it till you make it… a good way to go. i do it everyday still because i have not “made it” fully, i act, live and eat like it’s goin outta style!!

    the running thing, i hear you on the knees ill never be able to run again… maybe if you do some kind of interval 20 second sprints? if i HAVE to do something, it is usually that. gets me outta breath and on with my life.

    those thin/odd looking pancakes… haha you should make coconut pancakes, coconut flour, WHOLE eggs, coconut milk, and seasonings… fry and eat!

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