This post made me think.  When things make me think, they tend to cause rambles.  Feel free to skip it.  (Because, well, you totally needed my permission to do that.)  Anyway, several bloggers have posted about this in the past, and every time someone does it, the comments also show that most people agree with the sentiment that if you find a blog is negative and drags you down, avoiding it is the only thing to do.  I actually do agree with that, which is why what I am going to say next will make so little sense… but it is my blog, and so I can say it even if it is incoherent.  I am not generally a chipper person, as you may have noticed.  It feels, to me, like I am putting on a front if I’m giddy and happy and cheerful all the time.  Even if I am actually feeling genuinely happy, it probably wouldn’t appear that way to outsiders, because I am a restrained person by nature.  I don’t know why I worry about how other people perceive me, but it does bother me a bit that a lot of times I come across as being “negative” when that isn’t quite it at all.  It’s just the way I am.  And why do I mention this now, you ask? … Because every time I read about “negative bloggers,” I always assume I’m one of them.  Which, to be honest, is pretty arrogant of me!  Most of the bloggers on whose blogs I’ve read these posts don’t even know mine exists.  (Um, okay, I shouldn’t say that; I do find it slightly creepy that there are dozens of people who do read my blog and I have no idea who they are, but that’s another story.)  Guess it’s all part and parcel of being a paranoid freak.

And that’s all I have to say about that, I suppose!

Like any sensible person with a crushing workload, I did something other than work today.  Something very, very scary…

It’s very scary solely because of the number of people one encounters.  But what can I do if I need a bag?… And, as it turns out, I needed sunglasses too, because that pair that I bought in Grand Cayman?  Before I even got to wear them, my nieces and nephews got their hands on them.  They look okay (after I bent them back into shape!), but every time I tilt my head forward they go flying off my face.  That won’t do.

It was apparently a purple day.  I wanted a black bag, but I couldn’t find one.  Oh, well.  And the sunglasses are purple too… just the inside, though.  They’re black on the outside.  Figures that inexpensive sunglasses would be a lot more comfortable than the expensive ones, doesn’t it?

When I got home, I puttered around in the kitchen for a while… this is some of what has come out of there recently:

Polenta “chips,” made by slicing polenta as thinly as possible and sprinkling it with chili powder, then baking it at around 400 until crisp.

And I did something similar with a butternut squash, except that was sprinkled with chili powder and paprika.

And that amalgamation on the right is a “curried chicken salad” (using Lightlife chick’n strips).  The “dressing” was made by blending cottage cheese, Truvia, and curry powder (and a little bit of water because the mixture was too thick).  The celery ruined it… I don’t know what is wrong with me.  Why did I put it in?  I know I don’t like celery!

Oh, and because I am such a wonderful multi-tasker, I also did some of this:

The Assignment From Hell.  I made the tiniest little bit of headway, but it really feels like it’s just a drop in the bucket.  If I ever say anything about getting a second masters’ — because I know I will — someone please bop me over the head!!

This did make me glad, though…

Trees are blooming!  Spring must really be here.  No, really — I can tell by the ant infiltration.  Yuck.

Just a quick word about the ambiguity in my last post; it’s nothing bad, really.  It’s mostly a cultural thing that would just be really arduous to explain.  Contain your shock, but I’m actually very bad at talking about certain things, and so I sent my dad an e-mail and explained that it was because I prefer writing to talking.  To which he responded that he prefers talking to writing… gosh, thanks.  Way to meet me in the middle, huh?

Have a great Monday.

“Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain.”
~Mark Twain


11 responses to “Ramble

  1. your blog, your choice.
    i think katie meant that she just doesnt wanna read the blogs who are negative and/or “fat talking”. I dont wanna read those either. I dont ever see your blog in that light either. And of course, not speaking for katie, but just what i took from her post 🙂

  2. imaginenamaste

    hey! it is your blog–you talk about how you feel. i think you have a good balance–you are real. i really like your purple purse….i’m slowly venturing into the world of non-black or non-brown purses….

  3. Okay, I’m gonna be honest here: I do find your blog pretty negative. But I also do understand that’s the way you ARE…which also makes me wonder why not use this blog to help yourself, force yourself to think more positively? Writing about negative aspects of your life is certainly not gonna help.

    No one is asking you to be those annoying chipper, fake, grinning people! Urgh, I can’t stand that, either. But you can definitely still be YOU, and still try to act more positive…and hey, it will influence your real life, too. for me, I find my own blog to be so therapeutic…I try to be more positive at times, even when I’m feeling downright crummy…and it forces me to see things in different perspectives. Not all the time, but certainly, a lot of cases.

    Isn’t it much better to be happy than to be gloomy and self-loathing all the time? Why not at least try?

    I’m not insulting you in the least, but just…a friendly suggestion.

  4. I think i’ve mentioned this before..but i adore your personality and honestly wouldn’t have you any other way..From reading your blog for a while now i know that you’re not *just* negative…You have a dry sense of humour which some people might interpret as negative but if they took the time to get to know you they’d see that it really wasn’t the case..
    Sometimes i wish you could be more *positive* about yourself…for yourself..Not in the way society wants you to be postivive but in a way that genuinely makes you happy..
    I honestly wouldn’t count you as one of the bloggers katie was talking about..
    And anyway..if people find a negative blog brings them down they don’t have to read it..
    Anyway.. life isn’t all puppies and rainbows!

    Continue to be you love..

    Sorry for over-reacting about the ‘ambiguity’ of your last post..It wasn’t my intention to offend you or be overly nosey in any way..
    I guess it’s just easy to assume the worse when you’re in the dark about what’s going on.. 🙂


  5. I feel *exactly* the same way about my blog. In ‘real’ life, I don’t come across as being negative at all, but that’s because I put on a front and save it all up for my poor parents when I get home…and then the blog becomes an outlet for all of the stored up self-loathing and doubt I’ve struggled to keep a lid on all day. Mind you, lots of people have picked up on my lack of self-confidence so perhaps I don’t hide it as well as I think.

    Personally, I love bloggers who are honest. I do get slightly annoyed by people who just write about sunshine and happy little elves dancing freely in pixie-land, because I think sometimes it comes across as suggesting that those who are struggling or who are inherently pessimistic are somehow failures who need to just smile, put on a happy face and ‘fake it until they make it’ (whoever first coined that phrase should be tortured in my opinion). The relentlessly sententious tone of those blogs is just as irritating to others as negativity can potentially be. It doesn’t seem human at all. Humans laugh, humans cry…one-sided emotion just appears robotic.

    I adore your blog and, as I’ve mentioned multiple times before, it’s nice to find a fellow cynic out there 😛 You might have a dry sense of humour but you ARE witty and extremely funny in an acerbic, cutting way. I mean this only in a positive sense.

    Good luck with the assignment and I hope the family issues resolve themselves as painlessly as possible.


  6. I think it’s your blog, so you can (and should) write what you like. That being said, for me personally, I try to tone down the “I feel like a cow and look at the size of my food baby!” asides when I write because I don’t think they make anyone (myself included) feel better.

    I love your polenta chips! I will have to make those soon. And also kudos for braving Chinatown shopping… I bought a movie there once but that’s about it.

  7. I’m way better at writing than talking. I have chosen to write my mom a letter over talking to her about a lot of important things. Not that I think I’m a great writer, but I can actually get out some coherent sentences instead of tripping over my words ya know?

    ❤ Tori

  8. I had a quick flick over that post and I think she realy was referring to people who complained about their weight etc that sort of negativity.
    Your blog I love, I wouldnt say your negative its more just your sense of humor, I dont know how to describe it, slightly sarcastic? Anyway I think its great, you say you think and thats the way things should be. You should be able to feel as though you can post about whatever you like and look at all the comments and people who keep coming back to your site, its obvious there are many of us who really like you 🙂

  9. Aww, hun, I never see you coming across as a negative blogger. Less than chipper, perhaps, but I really appreciate the fact that you’re REAL and don’t try to put on a front. People who try to be smiley and happy and bouncy all the time tend to wear on my patience; there’s no way people can be that happy ALWAYS without being on something. You’re like a breath of fresh air 🙂

  10. Pingback: Yikes « Blue Eyed Heart

  11. Pingback: This Is Very Long « Blue Eyed Heart

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s