You know those days when the prevailing thought is I should have stayed in bed this morning?  Yeah, today was one of those for me.  So I am going to complain for a bit.  Skip the words and head for the pictures if you don’t want to be subject to my overarching negativity!

I made an ill-advised footwear decision this morning and wore wellies.  They hurt my feet.  And my socks kept slipping off.  And I’m surprised it took this long, but the rainy-weather fat / bloated feeling was out in full force today.  I was quite grumpy.  And I am an idiot and can’t keep paydays straight; it’s apparently tomorrow.  Which sucks because I need funds in my checking account.

Just in case I was under the mistaken illusion that today was my day, I received this message:

I re-read your email. I overlooked that you mentioned the classes are online. We do not accept online courses.

Thanks.  Way to get my hopes up for nothing… seriously, I am so disgusted and frustrated that if I hadn’t already blown so much money on it, I’d be half-inclined to drop out of school.

I was, in fact, so infuriated that my instinctive reaction was to go for this.

Please note the filth and rust stains.  I don’t know why everything in my office seems to be dirty.  But that was a large part of what stopped me, so I guess it’s not so bad in this case.  I always felt, growing up, that I wasn’t “allowed” to be angry.  I am pretty much a repository of suppressed rage because of that; and this is one of the only ways I have ever been able to express it.  Saying I was angry never got me anywhere; I just got lectured about needing to learn to “roll with life’s punches.”  Seriously?  If I hear that one more time, the only punches will be the ones I am going to throw at the person who says it.

Moving on!

I tried the peach soy yogurt:

Oh, my gosh.  This was way too sweet.  (Well, surprise — it’s got 17g of sugar!!!)  I guess I’ve gotten so used to plain or unsweetened yogurt that my taste buds no longer like the artificial flavors of such things.  Nice to know, but I really wish I could find these plain soy yogurts in a smaller container than the huge tubs!

This was an experiment… I just wanted to see what would happen:

I sprouted wheat berries!  I just followed the same method I use to sprout alfalfa seeds.  I wonder if it would work with other grains?… I’ll have to try that one day.  The results look slightly creepy, but oh well… they featured in my salad today.

Spinach, roasted butternut squash, tofu steak, wheat berry sprouts.  Notes: I occasionally need to be reminded that romaine is my lettuce of choice; and wheat berry sprouts are rather bitter.  I think I’ll stick to alfalfa!

I put a Moophrey burger on my Foreman to see if it would improve the texture any.

It didn’t affect the texture, but it did make it taste saltier!  Weird.  Unless some of the garlic salt from the bulgur or vegetables found its way onto the burger… no idea.

About the mirror in my last post… here’s the other one that I mentioned.

I made the design using an etching cream; no breakage involved!  If I can get my hands on some of it, maybe I’ll post a how-to guide.  If anyone wants to see it, that is.  :p


…and now, back to our regularly scheduled program.  I’m going to complain some more, because I am good at it and it was just that kind of day.

In case I have failed to specify this in the past, I have some “trust issues.”  Or, if you prefer, “abandonment issues.”  I am always sure that once someone discovers how horrible a person I truly am, they will run off, and so I won’t get too close to anyone.

The reason why I am mentioning this now?  I had an appointment with my nutritionist tonight.  I get there, and her daughter opens the door.  Her daughter was delighted, because she considers me some sort of celebrity; I was not so delighted, because my nutritionist had a meeting and had forgotten to tell me.  Let’s be logical for a moment, here: I know it was not personal or intentional.  And still, my crazy brain somehow managed to convince me that somehow, it would make sense for me to just give up the whole eating thing for a few days, because I am just about ready to pull every hair out of my head.  (For the record, that would be a lot of hairs.)

Clearly, I need to either A) act my age, or B) grow a pair.  Preferably both.

So my nutritionist called me as I was driving to the store, because her daughter had called her and told her that I had been there.  I was not about to turn back, so she re-scheduled me to Wednesday.  Which, I would like to point out, is the day that I am supposedly on spring break.  It’s all good, though, because I can’t go that day anyway; my dad needs the car.  Ha.

I’m just getting a really ominous feeling about this.  I’m used to eating when I don’t want to; I do that all the time.  I am less used to eating when I have an entire army of shrieking witches in my head.  Usually, the only shrinking witch up there is me.  I do not like having company.

Brief interlude to go to the supermarket, where I finally found this:

Let’s play a little game: Guess how much the matzah costs.  The winner will not win matzah.  :p

As I was driving home from the supermarket, I dug around to find something positive in this whole debacle, and I hit upon this: I would be able to get to bed earlier!  But those plans were foiled as well… because my friend, whom I was supposed to meet for lunch tomorrow, texted me to say that she can’t do tomorrow after all, and could we meet on Wednesday instead?  Fine, whatever.  So I had to go make lunch for tomorrow, because what I would have taken otherwise was more “portable,” and will probably be soggy by Wednesday.  And I didn’t have time to roast anything, so it is the most random and ridiculous salad ever, and I am feeling rather disgruntled about making it at all.  As in: Her backing out of lunch tomorrow means you aren’t supposed to have it, saith the witches.

So long as I’m complaining, I’ll throw this in there too: I still can’t find the Kashi Heart to Heart Warm Cinnamon Oat with a kosher symbol, and I went to two different Whole Foods today to try and find unsweetened Almond Dream, and neither of them had it. Well, the second one had the 64-oz. carton, but why would I want to pay $4.69 for 64 ounces if I can pay $1.99 for 32?!  Yes, when you’re being bled dry by your stupid grad school, seventy cents counts.

This day has been far, far, far too long, and I would like it to end this instant.  But my hair is wet.  (I know, I know, contain your shock.)  I don’t think I care, though… I am going to knock myself out and assume that since I had enough crap today to last me all week, the rest of said week will not even come close to the nadir that was today.

Have a happy Tuesday.

“Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.”
~Winston Churchill
(This one has been in-freaking-terminable.)


10 responses to “Moanday

  1. hey my hair is wet too! ohhhh sorry about your day. =( i had an epic day in lab, as i told you before. WAY too much stress.

    do show a how to. a video would be nice.

    and YAY SPROUTS!

  2. my hair is wet too, and that’s unlikely to change before bedtime. oh well. bummer about the online class thing…darn! and i’ll try to remember never to tell you to roll with the punches, for fear of you reaching through the computer screen and bopping me in the face!

  3. what a day girl…it’s the new moon, im telling you, stuff goes haywire round moontimes, i posted about it today.

    love the earrings.

    matzah i will guess $87.92


  4. I feel worried about you 😦 I hope your week gets better.

  5. I’m sorry about your crummy day. Hope today is better? Because the sun DID come out! (And… I hope you weren’t talking about what I think you were with those razors…)

  6. Ack, that is a lot of bad luck for one day. Sorry your plans for online classes fell through. I’m glad there were only crappy razors to hand! Any reason not to self harm is a good one ❤

    This might be a totally redundant thing to say because it's not like I've met you in 'real life' or anything, but everything I do know about you suggests that you are not the horrible person you worry you might be. I think you're lovely, so there. Your nutritionist, on the other hand, sounds rather disorganised!

  7. Sorry you had a bad Monday, hun… some days are just like that and there’s nothing we can really do about them, but they usually pass after a good night’s rest and better days will come. Just promise me you’ll be taking care of yourself and not doing anything scary with those razors =X

    Hope your Tuesday is going better ❤

  8. I’m glad you made the right decision and stayed away from self-injury! It definitely solves nothing and only leaves you feeling like you completely failed. Everyone has “these kind of days” when things seem to be going horribly – but it won’t stay like that forever and stuff works itself out- be patient love! 🙂 I hope you have a GREAT TUESDAY and tell Ed and his “fat feelings” to SUCKIT. 😉

  9. please stay strong sweetie! i know how strong that urge to self-harm can get, considering i gave in to it earlier this week :[ please know how proud i am of you that you were able to get those thoughts out of your head. i know everything seems exponentially worse right now, because things keep piling up. but hold on! things will get calmer, easier, and better soon.
    love you darling

  10. Pingback: Bit Better « Blue Eyed Heart

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