Nuts Over Needles

Slowly defrosting from a chilly swim… it really, really upsets me when the water is so cold that I need to expend so much energy and swim like a lunatic if I don’t want to freeze.  I’m supposed to be relaxing.  And since swimming is a relatively low-impact activity, and it didn’t hurt last week, I figured it would be okay for my stupid leg.  It would have been better if the water wasn’t cold.  Gahhh!

I had my second acupuncture appointment today.  Because my knee / hip / leg is still all messed up, I told him that it was also my hamstring that was hurting.  Well.  Apparently I’m not up to snuff on my human anatomy, because after my appointment, I realized it is actually my Sartorius muscle that’s causing most of the pain.  It’s usually fine when I’m sitting still, but sometimes when I walk or stand it tenses up so much that it sends a kind of spasm down my thigh.  Not fun.  But also thankfully not as bad as it was.

Anyway, that’s my left leg.  I felt him poking needles into my right leg too, and when I asked why he was doing that, he said it was so that I could get my period back.  It was never my intention to get rid of it in the first place, though I won’t deny it’s one less hassle in my life; but it would also make things a lot easier on me if I did have a period.  (Primarily because my mom couldn’t care less if I weighed fifty pounds; if I have my period, I am “healthy” because I can procreate.  Gah.)  I thought I wanted to get it back.  Judging by my reaction to those needles, though, I wonder if I really mean that.  Because I freaked. out. Something along the lines of this: Well, if I need to gain weight to get my period, and this is going to make me get it back, then that means this will make me gain weight.  I don’t want to do that, certainly not from something totally out of my control! I was, obviously, a wee bit hysterical.  I told him that I was not interested in gaining weight via “outside sources,” and he said, “I don’t mean you’re going to gain ten pounds from it.”  For goodness’ sake, it’s the principle of the matter here!  I don’t think he took that needle out, either.  And now I really need to examine this and figure out why I had the reaction I that I did, because I don’t understand it.

Even though it was raining and windy and gross outside, I needed to go somewhere, so I went to Whole Foods on my lunch break.  Actually, I went to get something in particular, which, of course, they didn’t have.  It’s just as well, though; carrying packages in that type of weather is not very high on my list of fun activities!  Nor is sitting in wet clothes, but such is life.

Romaine, roasted baby bellas, tofu cutlet, Brussels sprouts roasted with seasoned salt.

Also along for the ride today was this little cup of wonder.

I know it looks kind of gross, but things like this do not photograph well.  At least, not when I’m the one behind the lens!

It appears that I have reached a decision about whether to attend class tomorrow; one reason why I am not going to go is this.

My catfish died.  I need to go to Petco and get another one.  And I was just getting used to having an aquarium free of drama!!  Anyway, I messaged one of my classmates so that in the very unlikely event that my professor says something of note that I need to know, I will be kept updated.  Still, I feel kind of guilty.  I never cut class.  Ever.  Especially not when I’m paying through the nose for it!  But this is a really silly thing over which to waste guilt, isn’t it?…

The Queen of Random Injuries strikes again! You understand why I need this torso to illustrate…

I have a scratch in the general vicinity of that red dot.  I would really love to know how it got there!

I’ve been sleeping horribly this week.  I can’t seem to get drift off before midnight, and my eyes pop open before my alarm even goes off at 5.00 AM, and then I can’t get back to sleep.  I attempted to watch the Olympics earlier, but ever since the switch to digital, my TV keeps “skipping.”  So much for advances in technology, huh?  I’m taking that as a sign that I need to go to bed.

Have a happy Hump day!

Your fellow is your mirror. If your own face is clean, so will be the image you perceive. But should you look upon your fellow and see a blemish, it is your own imperfection that you are encountering — you are being shown what it is that you must correct within yourself.
~The Baal Shem Tov

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11 responses to “Nuts Over Needles

  1. i hope no more random injuries come your way! cool that you got accupuncture. i got it once but wasn’t a fan and plus my mom brought me there and told the guy about my anorexia before i even arrived, so he said really awkward thigns to me and i felt awful. lame. sorry about your fish! that puddingdoesn’t look gross at all, i want one 🙂

  2. Did the acupunturists already know you don’t get your period because you told him? Or did your doctor or someone else tell him? Anyway, I don’t know how much faith I would put in being stuck with a needle to bring back my period. Does that truly work?

  3. Girl holy crap you’ve got more injuries than Ben-Gay has cures for 🙂 Seriously, so sorry for all these injuries. I totally believe in accupuncture but I am not one who is “relaxed” by it. No, it’s needles going into you! and it leaves me a little edgy actually, but in the end, it’s worth it. If the person doing it knows what they’re doing, it’s magically effective, but if they don’t it’s an utter waste of time and $. For your sake, I hope it works out in the way in which you wish 🙂

  4. I’ve never had acupuncture before! When you feel it, is it unpleasant? I think I could do it as long as I didn’t look at the needle.

    Hope the one in your right leg helps your period… strange that the two are connected!

    Hope you sleep better tonight. I’ve been struggling myself this week.

  5. I remember freaking out once because I thought Id give alt therapies a go and then panicked because liek you I thought theyd make me gain lots of weight, really thats just your disorder making you think that way. Acupuncture isnt going to pile on the pounds! I hope your finding its helpful though.

    Sorry to hear about your fish, hope you have better luck with the next one.
    xox
    Laura

  6. Yay! I’m happy to have stumbled on your blog, love! I love your writing style and can’t wait to keep following. It always shows when someone is speaking from the heart vs. when it’s forced. And you, my dear, speak from the heart, this I can tell. Check my blog out too if you have the time. 🙂 Hope you have a lovely day!
    XOX

    Katya

  7. I get anxious over random things which might cause me to gain weight too. I still get panic attacks in public over the supposed ‘obesity virus’ which a while back was in the news…the idea of a metabolism-slowing virus makes me want to wear a bio-suit for the rest of my life. Hope that the accupuncture improves matters despite the fears though.

    Those puddings look delicious!

    Fingers crossed that you get some sleep tonight ~ I feel the same about cutting class…it’s an OCD thing as much as anything else. Whether or not there’s anything relevant going on (which 95% of the time there isn’t) and not matter how many other people cut class, if someone tells me I’m supposed to be there then I have to be there, regardless of whether my leg is hanging off / a major earthquake has struck / there are snowdrifts ten feet high. Thankfully my recent hives outbreak (s) had some advantages: the shame of them broke that OCD cycle. Prior to that, I hadn’t missed a single lesson in two years and even before that it was only when I had flu a couple of winters’ back. Getting the new catfish will be better for your mental wellbeing and will therefore make you more productive with schoolwork. So cutting class for it is perfectly justified 🙂

    ~Jess~
    xoxoxo

  8. I’ve never actually given acupuncture a try because I have a serious phobia of needles and the idea of being pricked by more than one keeps me at bay. I do hope it works for you though, and the fear of gaining weight from a needle in your right leg is just your ED chipping in his .02. Don’t listen to his rubbish. It belongs in the trash along with everything else he says.

    Sorry about your fish 😦 I can’t keep fish. I cried when the last one I had died; they just don’t live long enough for me to be able to handle that kind of constant mourning.

  9. Being cold like that can really cause your muscles to seize up, which probably isn’t helping your leg any…do you have a heating pad you can put on it?

    So sorry about your fish! I have always wanted to have an aquarium, but I have such bad luck with those things…

    I am dealing with the Getting Back of Period right now, except via birth control pills, and it is indeed freaky to think that your body might just start doing things you hadn’t authorized. But remember you only get one set of bones, and dealing with the period and some extra curves now is definitely a small price to pay for not being crippled with osteo in the future…and I totally understand the panic about hearing random things that might make you gain weight, but really it is highly unlikely, it’s just easy fuel for the ED to latch onto those ideas.

    hang in there and take good care, <3,
    C

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