Production and Pictures

Before I forget — shameful as it is for me to admit, I have jumped on a bandwagon!  I vainly hopped on board the Formspring trend.

I suppose the most notable event of today was one that did not actually occur; namely, I failed to add to my facial decoration.  Can’t say I’m too upset about that!  I also, in true idiotic fashion, bought the wrong kind of tofu, and had to go all the way back to the store to exchange it.  But that’s neither here nor there.

Part of the oh-so-exciting plans I had for today involved going to the school performance of my “alma mater.”  (It’s generally known as just “production” here… hence the post name.)  Every year I say that I’m not going, because it’s just so dumb… but every year I have at least one niece in it, and I have to be the supportive aunt, even though she couldn’t possibly care less whether or not I show up!  It’s this mishmash of choir, dance and drama, and the guy running the sound and lights had no idea what he was doing, so it was sort of a disaster.  Oh, well.  It’s really the high school, but they put in the sixth grade too, because a thousand years ago someone decided it was “cute to have little kids in it,” and it’s just been that way ever since.  Maybe it’s just me, but when I look at people that age, I can’t help but remember what I was like back then… and oh, my goodness, but it makes me cringe!  I was such an egotistical brat (wow, Freudian slip — I mistyped that as “fat” at first!  Which is true, but that wasn’t what I was going to say) — I actually thought I was important and that I mattered.  I shudder to think of it.  Oh, poor misguided youth… watching the high school kids isn’t so bad, because by that time I was already aware of the fact that I was messed up!

To continue the fun, my grandfather’s yahrtzeit is tonight, so bring on the Cadre of Cousins!  (Why does it seem like I’m saying that about a grandparent’s yahrtzeit every other day?!  I only had four of them!!)  And my aunt and uncle are staying for that, too, obviously… I wonder when they’re leaving.  I kind of miss being able to wear my pajamas around the house!

*insert temper tantrum here, because I do not want to go back to work tomorrow*

Given the less-than-stellar results I achieved when I tried to make seitan, I decided to buy some and see what I was actually trying to accomplish.

It looked like the seitan I made, but the similarities ended there!

Udon noodles, seitan, sugar snap peas, carrots, mushrooms, and onions.  This seitan was chewy, but not in the same way mine was; mine was more “rubbery” than “chewy”!  Interesting.  I’m not quite sure what to do with this little tidbit of information, but I guess it’s nice to have.  😉

This has been bugging me for quite a while, so I’m going to indulge myself here and spew some verbal vomit.

I’ve mentioned in the past that it upsets me to stumble across blogs which mention numbers / BMIs / weights; not that everyone doesn’t have a right to say whatever they feel like saying, I just don’t want to be subject to reading about it!  The same thing seems to apply to pictures.  I’ve noticed that there seem to be two types of people: those who will go to any length to hide their underweight state, and those will do the same to flaunt it.  As evidenced by this post, it isn’t like I parade around in short shorts and crop tops.  I am always pretty much covered, even if my mom thinks I’m horribly immodest because oh my goodness, my elbow is showing!  The point is, it would be very difficult for me to “flaunt” something like that, even if I wanted to.  I just don’t understand why someone would want to!  I suppose that of all people, I should understand this, but it just baffles me.  Honestly, I don’t think I have a single photo in which I look “too thin” — I prefer being behind the camera to start with, and the facts that I’m always covered and that I never really looked too thin in the first place make it hard for such pictures to exist.  But still, if I’m posting, say, vacation photos on Facebook, if there is even the slightest doubt in my mind about a picture, I’m not going to post it.  What is the point of inviting all sorts of comments?!  Maybe that is the point — a misguided attempt to get people to show that they care.  I have no clue.  All I know is, it irritates me to death, and if someone could explain to me the thought process behind this, I would be immensely grateful.

Have a great start to your week.

The entire glory of the daughter of the king lies on the inside.
~Psalms 45:14


15 responses to “Production and Pictures

  1. Awww I completely miss being a little kid… things were so much more simple back then. Want cookie? Eat cookie. Simple. No silly rules and calculations.

    I think maybe people post pictures of themselves looking emaciated because they’re proud of it? If someone puts all their energy into losing weight or maintaining a low weight, I guess they feel the need for it to be acknowledged. A way to justify the suffering, I suppose? It makes no sense to me either, honestly…

  2. i’m with seek myself. i don’t like the poeple that post pictures of themselves..possibly hoping that someone will take notice and be like YOU LOOK GREAT! thusadding to the fuel. i HATE HATE taking pictures. coz i think i look fat all the time (i know, not true, but it’s mental. i’m getting over this.) it’s like they want an award or something. who knows. i’m not really sure, when i was terribly underweight i covered up all the time.

    ugh. good luck with monday. BLEH!

  3. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce

    i understand why it upsets you to come across blogs that have triggering things like that. maybe triggering is not the word, but i getcha. i’m the same way…i don’t have a single picture of me at an anorexic weight on facebook nor will i ever post one on my blog. it’s not something i’m proud of, and the last thing i’d want to do is trigger someone else. bummer about the tofu mixup!

  4. I think there are a couple of reasons why people might post those sort of photos. I know a few people who obviously deliberately flaunt their size – maybe they find all the worried comments validating or something. But most people I know go to all lengths to avoid having photos of themselves at low weights online. I have no photos like that on facebook, and I was quite upset a few months ago when a couple of sickly looking photos of me at a family party turned up on someone else’s profile – I got said family member to take them off. I do have one photo of myself at my lowest weight on my blog though. It was just a headshot and I was quite convinced at the time that a) a head couldn’t be triggering and b) I looked quite normal in it. Later on I was rather shocked by comparing it with healthy versions, but I didn’t recognise it at all at the time. So maybe that’s another reason why people might post photos – I get irritated when I come across full body photos of people who are still pretty drastically underweight, but maybe they just don’t realise? I guess if someone is already Xlbs up from their lowest they might think they are doing great in comparison, even if they look ill to the rest of the world.

    I hope you have a good start to your week too 😉

  5. We have been thinking about making our own seitan!

    I think that there are a lot of mis-guided and confused people on the internet (and in real life) and posting their pics is their way of seeking help or getting attention (it may be the only way they know how). When I see something that upsets me, I just try to ignore it. I am not here to change anyone (Unless it is something they want to discuss, you know? Rather than their personality).

  6. Aww that was sweet of you to attend your niece’s production, I bet she was adorable:)

  7. I love your little”Verbal vomit” spew, lol. I agree about posting thin pictures; it could definitely be upsetting for some ppl. I did a post on my weight a while back because I was talking about a metabolic/insulin disorder that I have (PCOS) and I wanted to show that you can be extremely healthy and fit at the higher range of “normal.” I hope I didn’t upset anybody! It’s definitely not something I would post regularly.
    Happy Monday!

  8. I am pretty militant about numbers on my blog, because it does still trigger some twinges in me if I read them in others. I am kind of a Nazi about protecting my identity, which precludes pictures anyway, but I still would not post them. I feel like they take away from the words, and putting feelings/thoughts into words is the main benefit I receive from blogging.

    Sometimes it is possible that people genuinely do not realize how sickly they look. When I was at my sickest, I didn’t really think I was fat, but I truly didn’t realize how emaciated I was. But for me, pics have always been a reality check. I can look back on pictures and see how deathly ill I was, but at the time, on that day, I KNOW I was counting calories and stressing over every ounce of flesh on my body. So I think that posting “flaunting” pictures probably gets some people a sense of validation, etc, to show the world that their problem is real, even though most people with EDs realize that it can be just as hard at X weight as it can at Y. I’m just speculating here, because even if I wasn’t anonymous there’s no way I’d post pictures no matter how healthy I thought I looked.

  9. Of course I don’t mean to criticize recovered bloggers that do post healthy pictures. I think they’ve earned the right to celebrate and share pictures of themselves having fun and doing cool things. Just meant that I still don’t trust my perceptions enough, and I guess and still anxious over others’ perceptions.

  10. Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth)

    im really sorry. i feel like you may feel this way about my blog and if so i sincerely apologize. i am doing it as a sort of documentation for myself and i really hope that you wil email me if you feel that i am a blog that upsets you- i wont be offended.


  11. I think, in regards to how much you show and what photos are visible, you should just go with what you’re comfortable with. Your body, your photos!

  12. I know what you mean. I don’t like seeing pictures of girls way too thin, either, but worse is girls who apparently aren’t even eating disordered. Or…so they say.

    The thing is…maybe they don’t even recognize how thin they are? I’ve seen pictures of you, and to me, you do look a little “too thin”. I’m not accusing you in anyway (and thin pictures don’t trigger me), because obviously you don’t realize that. I suppose people have different perceptions on body image?

  13. You seem like a great person – behind the camera or not!
    I have one question regarding the seitan: what does it taste like? I dont think i’ve ever had it! :O Shocker, considering it seems to be pretty popular around here!

    xox Vera

  14. yeah girl- i guess that people are just different have have different opinions. i think we just need to accept that people go bout recovery in different ways and whatever suits them best, may not be best for everybody else. agreed with sophia-people dont always realize how thin they are..when its you, you are more blinded!

  15. Pingback: No Day |

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