Times Square

Just like last week, I went to the gym this morning — and waited and waited and waited.  And trekked to the other gym, which was closed too.  To console myself, I went to Whole Foods to buy Steaz.  They didn’t have any.  Amid this influx of joy, it began to snow.

What is a poor downtrodden soul to do in this situation but traipse about taking more artsy fartsy pictures?!

There was a happy reunion in my kitchen / dining room this morning — before I became the aforementioned downtrodden soul, that is!  😉

Enjoy Life cranapple crunch granola!  Oddly, absence may not have made the heart grow fonder; I think I may have come to prefer the cinnamon crunch.

I tried the Paradise Walnut Pistachio Bora Bora bar today:

As you can see, it has very generous chunks of walnuts in it; that’s unfortunate for me, as I don’t like walnuts! It was also somewhat stickier than the other flavors I’ve tried so far. I wouldn’t buy this one, but only because I don’t like walnuts.  Otherwise, it was fantastic.

Sometime after 10.00 AM, we received a memo dated December 30, stating that “we will be closing at 3.00 PM tomorrow.”  Thanks loads!  I had a 2.30 appointment with my therapist, so I just skipped taking a lunch break and left the office at 2.00.

My therapist gave me an assignment.  I’m supposed to ask people why they like me.  The premise here is supposedly to prove to me that I’m not unlikeable as I say I am, but, uh, hello — can you say embarrassing?!  That’s totally like fishing for compliments: “Hey, X?  Tell me why you think I rock!”  Agh.

On my way home, I made a big, BIG mistake which cost me half an hour and a near-panic attack.  I’m still not sure if I couldn’t breathe because I was freaking out about being so close to so many people, or if my windpipe was being compressed from too many sides!!  This picture doesn’t even begin to do the situation justice, but I wound up here:

I will admit that I have been to Times Square on New Year’s Eve.  In 2007, I went because I figured it was an “experience” I ought to have.  But I left my house around 9.00 PM; I definitely did not camp out there all day!  And having had that experience, I am perfectly content to stay at home in my pajamas and watch the ball drop on TV.  Apparently, most of these people here did not share my view, because I was all but suffocated.  I wound up fleeing in the opposite direction and taking a completely roundabout train route home, which is exactly what I was trying to avoid in the first place, and that’s why I ended up in Times Square!!  Oy.

When I finally, finally made it home, I stuck a spaghetti squash into the oven. (Remember this?! Believe it or not, I only have a delicata squash and a butternut squash on the counter at the moment. Must replenish the squash stocks.) Then I set about making some “meatballs” using Lightlife Gimme Lean ground “sausage”, which was so incredibly easy it’s a joke; I rolled them into balls and baked them for a few minutes.  After I took them out of the oven, I dropped them into a pot of boiling water and Sonny & Joe’s sauteed eggplant, which made for an extremely complex sauce.

I loved it.  And I was never a major fan of meatballs!!

Little verbal vomit here: I do not have work tomorrow.  The gym is closed tomorrow.  I don’t really have to go anywhere or do anything… it is the makings of a total “lazy day.”  And I am freaked out.  I always have a hard time with Fridays — I get so anxious about the Friday night / Shabbos day meals, which I really should be used to by now, since I’ve been experiencing them for, oh, twenty-five plus years!  But this is even worse… I am facing the prospect of being totally sedentary on a Friday.  Horrors.  When I shared this particular anxiety with my therapist, she said that it would be good for me to spend a day doing nothing, and that I should embrace it.  Oh.  Did I say I was freaked out before?  Because now I’m really freaked out!  In this whole “eat less, move more = good” society, I have an extremely difficult time allowing myself to eat — at all, let alone “normally” — when all I am doing is just… lazing around.

In case I haven’t done an adequate job of expressing this: I am terrified.

There.  Now I can take a leisurely shower (apparently I need to learn how to do relaxing things, as well) and wait for midnight so that I can watch all the crazy people freezing and smashed up against one another in Times Square, all of which will increase my gratitude that I am home in my pajamas!  How are you spending your New Year’s Eve??


15 responses to “Times Square

  1. glad to see you didn’t burn your squash! sorry you got smashed in times square. that sucks. i am totally claustrophobic! =(

    i totally feel the same way about lazy days. i can’t justify eating if i a) didn’t exercise and b) don’ tmove around. toatlly disordered, i know, so i just try harder to forget. lame right?

    i think i’m going to turn in early because i’m part of this blogger challenge to wake up at 5 for a week starting jan 1.

    and i have a new plan for the new year.

  2. Happy New Year! Glad you made it home ok from Times Square! It’s a zoo up there! lol

  3. Hi!

    I’m spending my New Year Eve at home, like always. It’s been like 1 week since I have done any sports, lol. Don’t be terrified, it’s not the end of the world. I’ll be online if you need support! (I’m like on the computer almost all day, nothing else to do, lol)

    I need to try a Bora bora bar! They look like something I would like 🙂

    And about why people like you:
    1) You’re friendly
    2) You’re supportive
    3) You can make killer meatballs
    4) You’re funny
    5) You can make the difference between foetus carrots and embryo carrots and adult carrots
    6) You have managed to keep your Algae alive since December 27th! (He’s still alive, is he????)

    Happy New Year!

  4. i like you because you are unique, witty, kind..and so much more!
    hope you had a great NYE love!
    i went to the movies and to somebodies house with a buncha ppl! its 2AM..im so tired!

  5. laurasworthlesswords

    Ermm that could definitely be akward asking people in person why they like you but a few reasons maybe be:
    Your a very kind young lady, witty, offer great support to others and you have an awesome earring collection 😉

    I was boring and did nothing last night! I know a sedentary day is a scary thought I still struggle with this lots to but we cant keep going on being scared of having a day of nothing to do, so maybe your therapist is right, why not try to have a day doing less. You dont have to sit all day but maybe make more of an effort to try and relax somewhat, after all one day wont hurt.

  6. I’m actually watching the craziness of Times Square on TV right now and seeing the picture on here, knowing it ALREADY HAPPENED is totally tripping me out… I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone!
    I had a similar assignment. I don’t know if part of the challenge for you is having to be assertive and physically ask people, but I cheated and asked via a mass text message. 😉


  7. I stayed at home last night too 😉 I just don’t get the attraction of being squashed! One of my friends had a similar therapy ‘assignment’ a few months ago, she sent us all a message on facebook. I like you because you are kind, funny, supportive, honest, and you are not all talk and no action – you give things a try even when they scare the crap out of you, rather than rambling on about how great a challenge whatever it is would be and then wussing out, and I really admire that 🙂

    Good luck with your day off! I know it’s anxiety provoking but it honestly won’t hurt you, and if you can prove to yourself that you can survive an inactive Friday hopefully it won’t be as difficult in the future.

  8. self care is crucial and important, hence your need for a relaxing, hot shower 🙂

    rebecca ❤

  9. Another fellow stay-at-homer. It’s far too cold for going out, or that’s my excuse. Besides which I don’t understand the ludicrous amount of emphasis placed on a day just because it’s a certain date. It’s all socially conditioned anyway…I’m sure no-one in any remote tribes feels any differently today than they have on every other day of the year, so we don’t have to either. And crowds? Don’t even get me started on them…that picture looks like my worst nightmare so I admire you hugely for coping with such seething masses of people.

    I like you because you’re witty, inventive, sensitive, caring, too darn intelligent for your own good, cynical, sarcastic in the best possible sense and have the most amazing sense of observational humour I have encountered in the blog world or in real life. The only thing I don’t like about you is that you’re too hard on yourself.

    I cannot believe your gym. I would seriously complain! I would have been tempted to fetch a car and conduct a hit-and-run…when the police turned up I’d just give an innocent ‘who, me?’ look while jogging casually along on the treadmill.

    Good luck with your rest day


  10. Stef @ moretolifethanlettuce

    hahah i love your “squash watch” updates. WOW that is a freakish amount of people, i wouldve had a panic attack too i’m sure! i’ll have ot try those “meatballs” i never liked the real thing but maybe i’ll be lke you and prefer the faux thing. i’m sorry you’re terrified about dinner, but like you said, you’ve survived 25 years of them, you can handle this one too!

  11. Happy New Year 🙂
    One on my New Year goals is to get out more. I’ve always opted to stay in especially during my ED and recovery. I excluded myself from everything and it took a long time to get back out there, but I’m going to get myself out there.

  12. Shelley (findinghappinessandhealth)

    i hope you had a great new years eve. & seriously try not to stress about a ‘sedentary’ friday- i have been sooo lazy lately & it hasn’t affected me one bit 🙂 shocking. and the squash sounds deliciousss- i love spaghetti squash! i went out iwth some friends last night, but i would be completely content just sitting in my pjs watching the ball drop 😀 & i think you should do what your therapist says because it is true that you arew orth so much more than you think!! i dont know you obviously but i love your blog because you are honest, intelligent, and have delcious eats!!

    shabbat shalom :]



  13. I have a hard time taking a day entirely off too. It makes me feel awful (unless I am sick or something, then it is justified).

    I think it can be really relaxing though. Good luck!

    P.S. I would feel TOTALLY weird asking people why they like me!

  14. Yum, I love spaghetti squash! Happy New Year!

  15. Pingback: Ulp « Blue Eyed Heart

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