The Guilt Guest

The weekend is over… sad!  Especially since I have that presentation tomorrow to anticipate.  Or not.  At least it’s a short week — I’m thankful for that!

Last week, my brother donated blood and got a free meal coupon, which he gave to me, because nobody in my family really likes that deli and they do sell sushi, which I’d never tried.  The whole point of this coupon was rendered moot when it turned out that it was worth more than a roll of sushi, so I wound up buying my brother a turkey wrap too, which basically meant… that I bought a roll of sushi.  But whatever.  I haven’t had sushi in ages.

This is how I take my sushi.  No fish, no sesame seeds, no avocado.  Basically, vegetables in nori and rice.  :p

And today I broke into the first container in my hommus pile

I hadn’t had this variety in a long, long time either!

In a wrap with sprouts… which is generally the only way I use it, but considering the tower of hommus in my refrigerator, I think I am going to have to get a bit more creative before they all expire!

Spaghetti squash (I always forget how much I love it) and a “sauce” made with cubed tofu simmered in sauteed eggplant and water.  (“Simmered” is such a weird-sounding word, isn’t it?!)

After the whole boot saga, I was left with a pair of brown boots, so today I went in search of a brown jacket.  I didn’t get one.  Instead, I wound up with this.

I will excuse the ridiculous “pose” by explaining that I was standing on the toilet seat to fit my entire torso in the mirror.  :p  I have wanted a jacket like that forever… and it was so ridiculously inexpensive that I couldn’t not buy it.  That would be because it isn’t actually leather… and, consequently, not very warm at all, which means I won’t even be able to wear it much for the next few months!  But, you know, I have all the money in the world to throw around.  Inflect extreme sarcasm here, because…

I booked a vacation.

As dictated by my paranoia, I’m not going to say where.  But I asked my brother today if they’ve decided anything yet… and he started telling me that maybe they’ll do something a week later, maybe the night before, maybe maybe maybe!  It is ridiculous.  I can’t revolve everything around everyone else; no matter what I do, someone will be displeased.  So I just booked; and I can only hope that I don’t miss my nephew’s upsherin.  Massive amounts of self-talk going on here, because every time I go on a vacation, or spend “too much” money on myself, Guilt becomes a houseguest of mine.  And as we all know by  now, my houseguests? …  They tend to stick around and totally outstay their welcome.

Plus, my nutritionist is not very pleased about this, because she claims I always lose weight when I go on vacation.  She says she’s not letting me go.  But she said that last time… and if I don’t get away, I will go stir-crazy and completely insane, and that wouldn’t be very good, now, would it?!

It sounds ridiculous, but I have found this entire process to be extremely stressful!  So I am going to burrow in my cousin-free corner and think about sleep.

Have a great start to your week!

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11 responses to “The Guilt Guest

  1. I LOVE THE JACKET! hot! very rihanna in shut up and drive! i gotta post a picture of me in my “rockin’ jacket” armani exchange HOLLA!

  2. the jacket is adorable 🙂 & the sushi looks good, but i def prefer mine with fish for some flavor ! stay strong if you go on vacation, try to stay ont he rgiht track- it really is hte most important thing! hope you have a great week

    xoxo
    shelley
    http://findinghappinessandhealth.wordpress.com

  3. Well, here’s an opportunity to prove your nutritionist wrong…DON’T lose weight when you go on vacation. Just enjoy yourself, my dear, and don’t be afraid to try new things!

    Oh, and COOL FREAKING JACKET!! Wait, let me rephrase that: FREAKING COOL JACKET!!

    p.s. just veggies and rice and nori? Why not make your own sushi?

  4. girl this is a time for you to prove your nutritionist wrong..and show ED who is boss!! enjoy yourself, enjoy good NEW food, you deserve it!! i LOVE that jacket girl..it is so edgey!!! yay for getting through an anticipated weekend and it sounds like you had fun!!

  5. Nice jacket 😀 I want a non-leather one like that too, I had one a couple of years ago and wore it to death.
    Unwanted metaphorical guests are annoying, but the thing about them that most people don’t seem to realise is that you don’t have to take their shit. That’s the only difference between doing well and not doing well for me. I still have thoughts about not liking myself and feeling guilty and ED stuff, I just don’t pay any attention to them because I know they are just part of an illness, they’re not real. It’s not like faking being OK, because when you fake it you pretend you don’t believe all that stuff when really you do, whereas I really don’t anymore, but I recognise that those thoughts have been in my head for years and years and so it’s going to take a while before they stop being habitual.
    I think my brain has been replaced by all those self help books I’ve read over the years 😛
    I hope things work out so that you don’t miss anything! But at least you’ve got it booked now 🙂 good for you!

  6. 1. Adorable jacket!
    2. Yah, for booking yourself a trip. We all need to get away once in awhile. Have fun 🙂 wherever it may be.

  7. Love the jacket and I LOVE sushi! (But it’s not complete without fish for me!)

    You can prove your N. wrong! You could make some plans with her for the days you’re on holiday. With room for variation etc., but just to make entirely sure you don’t loose. And if you truly want that, it will work out fine! I know you can do it:)

    xxx Julia (Taste of Living)

  8. That’s not the greatest attitude from your nutritionist! ‘Not letting you go’ sounds like a parent chastizing a child, denying them a fun and pleasurable trip because they haven’t behaved ‘well’ enough. Unless I’m misunderstanding the situation she has no actual, tangible power to stop you and I say it’s a great opportunity to illustrate that you’re stronger than she believes.

    You can’t please everyone in life and I think you did the right thing by booking the vacation: your family really should be more considerate and take your needs into account. I know how guilt can gnaw away at you but you should know that it’s totally unnecessary: you’re a hard-working, dedicated, brilliant person who more than deserves a guilt-free vacation.

    I adore the jacket ~ you look great!

    xoxox

  9. i LOVE that jacket 😀

    and your sphagetti squash looks sooo delicious 🙂

  10. My parents give blood, all they get is a cup of tea and a biscuit 🙂
    Love the jacket, I have one I wear all the time I just adore it (it is leather though)

  11. Pingback: Getting Later « Blue Eyed Heart

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