Acting As If

There is a Yiddish expression that translates into, “Think good and it will be good.”  While it’s never really worked for me, I still grew up with it, and that’s just about the only thing that is left when everything just seems so… blue.  That’s why I am going to pretend that I am not enormously stressed out, overwhelmed, depressed, whatever, etc.  Maybe if I think I’m not, I really won’t be.

However, before I get to the part of this post in which I begin ignoring that, I just have to say that it is very late, so excuse my incoherence; I got back from my nutritionist appointment not long ago.  I am annoyed — I lost .2 lb.  Yes, .2.  And for that, because my nutritionist is convinced that the thyroid medication is making me lose weight, I was gifted with an increase of epic proportions.  Are you kidding me?!  So off I went to the supermarket (I was never someone who freaked / stressed out in supermarkets, and it is annoying when that happens now… but I got another turnip!)… after which I tried to go to another supermarket to buy diet Snapple because it was on sale there, but I have no sense of direction and I got so totally lost.  And now (since this paragraph was inserted after I took care of what comes below), I am thinking that I should have made my lunch for tomorrow, but since I didn’t want to think about sandwiches of any sort, I didn’t, and now I just want to go to sleep.  Did this extremely run-on paragraph make any sense?!  Well, too bad… I’m too tired to proofread.  On to the “acting as if” …

A couple of salads from the past few days.


The baby peppers were starting to turn, and so I needed to finish those up. Pardon the massive pile. With broccoli, tofu baked / roasted in seasoned salt, and romaine (yeah, it’s under there somewhere).  This was actually a really good salad.  It’s just a pity I was in such a mood that I couldn’t even appreciate that.


Romaine, alfalfa sprouts, carrot chips, Lightlife chick’n strips, and homemade cinnamon croutons.  Like the true genius that I am, I completely forgot the chick’n strips at first, and the whole point of this salad was to finish the open package!  It looked prettier without the anti-sogginess baggies:


Speaking of the chick’n strips…


I made chicken tandoori!! Well, not really; I used the same “chicken” as in the above salad. And I used the soy yogurt which I bought last week.  That was more along the lines with what I had in mind for it!  This was paired with steamed brown rice and steamed broccoli stir-fry vegetables.  I have no idea whether this is what real chicken tandoori tastes like, but I suppose it makes no difference, since I’m never going to taste the real thing in any case.

I never really venture near Whole Foods’ freezer, since I can’t have the majority of the things in there anyway. Not to mention the fact that I don’t have a freezer at work, unless you count this communal one, which obviously needs a major defrosting.


It worked okay for me, though, I guess.  Because I saw these in Whole Foods, and I just had to buy them, considering what happened to the line of veggie burgers / chicken patties I loved!


I bought the burgers too, but I tried this one first.  (Burgers … buns …. kind of “sandwichy” … get it?  Agh.)


It was… interesting.  I wouldn’t say it tasted quite like chicken, but it wasn’t bad.  The only problem is that if you don’t eat it pretty quickly, it gets kind of crispy.  Not that that’s a bad thing, necessarily.  There are three heating methods written on the box, and of course I used the microwave!  Maybe I’ll try the oven or my Foreman next time.

Two mini product reviews:


Whole Foods 365 Organic Honey Crunch & Oats — honestly, I think I’ll stick with the Peanut Butter Pows! These just tasted like sweetened corn flakes.  In the whole bowl, I found exactly one cluster of … honey crunch and oats?  Whatever it is.  It didn’t taste bad, it just wasn’t anything spectacular.


Yogi Baked Cinnamon Raisin Granola Crisps — I have now tried all three flavors of this, and I think my favorite is the mountain blueberry flax. There was barely any cinnamon flavor to this; there was, however, a very strong raisin flavor!  Which doesn’t work for me, since I pretty much hate raisins.

And this isn’t really a review at all, but I think I’ve given up on the whole Starbucks experiment… it’s confirmed, I don’t like coffee!  So, at Ellie’s recommendation, I tried the chai tea.


Not that I’m going to be purchasing this on a regular basis, since I could buy an entire box of tea bags for the price of this little cup; but I was pleasantly surprised that I actually kind of liked this.  The caffeine didn’t hurt, either — West Coast games kill me.

And on that note, I am newly reminded of all of the things I need to do and have not done.  Cue freakout, which is my exit.  Have a wonderful Thursday… the week is almost out!


11 responses to “Acting As If

  1. There’s caffeine in chai tea? Haha, not for me! Those things are WEAK! But at least you found something you like at Starbucks, though I can’t say that is particularly a good thing…you know, it’s $$$!!! lol.

    Hm. I think you’re doing this “think good” thing wrong…you’re actually supposed to BELIEVE things WILL be good. Not “maybe”! It doesn’t work that way!

  2. I am still affected by caffeine in regular/green/chai tea 😛 so you’re not alone there, whatever all these die-hard caffeine addicts tell you! Heck, I used to get palpitations from the caffeine in a can of diet coke…
    I used to be very suspicious of the ‘acting as if’ thing as well. It works well for anxiety, because clearly you can’t get over your anxieties unless you face them. Acting as if you are confident in new/intimidating situations never hurts. But with depression, that’s a bit more complicated. I think it’s important to be willing to look for positives because when someone is depressed they do tend to become determined to see the bad in everything (hence my usual but sometimes very begrudged three good things 😛 ). Also, although I don’t think it’s healthy to just constantly fake feeling OK, it’s not healthy to give into depression either. It’s an illness, and like any illness it is good practise to try to distract yourself from the pain rather than letting it overwhelm you. There is a difference between allowing yourself to feel sadness or grief when the situation calls for it and allowing a mental health condition to get the better of you. Not that I’m saying that’s what you do personally, that’s just my thoughts on the whole thing. I’m also pretty good at forgetting that for days or weeks at a time when I’m feeling particularly rubbish!

  3. You shouldn’t loose weight, you should be healthy and enjoying life. You know what? Positive thinking CAN help you in this recovery. Pretend that it feels OK, normal, like a positive thing to eat healthy (as in enough and with treats too), taking care of your body and gaining weight. Even if deep down inside, it doesn’t feel that way. (and if you’re feeling down/depressed, just acknowledge that, maybe share it…you shouldn’t keep THAT inside) The mind is a powerful thing and this will help you. I know it sounds unbelievable, but it’s what works… Do the right things, pretend that they feel allright too and things will work out. Because you deserve a happy and healthy life!

    xxx Julia (Taste of Living)

  4. Did you like the “faux” chicken? I found them kind of rubbery myself. Have a great Thursday!

  5. I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better! It seems like you are nourishing yourself with some good, healthy foods, and willing to try new things!
    Like you said, think good things. Write down a list of good things and tape it up in front of you. You’ll look back and this will all be a distant memory one day

  6. your chicken tandoori looks pretty good–and i’m not into the fake chicken stuff, so that is a nice compliment to your skillz! and you peppers look so cute, even if there are twenty gajillion of them!

    dearie doodle, you gotta stay positive! i know that when you get mopey, it’s easy to STAY mopey, but make some effort to trick yourself out of it. don’t just think you should be in a better mood, MAKE yourself be in a better mood! i do hope that you get out of your funk, and soon…

  7. I’m with Sarah… mind over matter!!!

    I used to LOVE chicken tandoori. I’ll have to try the faux kind!

  8. love the yiddish expression– my mum uses it all the time.

    sorry you are feelin a bit blahh lately– weight gain can be frustrating– its such a love/hate relationship… its hard with that DE voice that tries to creep its way in but i know you are staying STRONG– LIFE is SO much more than that. you got this girl!!!

    LOVE the tandoori ‘chicken’ its one of my fav indian dishes 🙂

    thanks for the sweet comment girl xoxoxo

  9. I think that Yiddish phrase is the equivalent of ‘fake it till you make it’, something that I always want to poke people in the eye for saying. Plastering a stupid smile on your face and pretending everything is okay will not make it so…the only way to get out of such terrible depressive episodes is to take action to alleviate some of the external sources of anxiety, which at least leave the internal trauma without any ‘hooks’ to rely on. It’s easier said than done though and I empathise so much…finding a balance between being overwhelmed by the negative thoughts and denying them altogether is so tough, and with your immense workload combined with the anxiety of weight gain your external stress sources are very high. Don’t ever think you’re wrong or weak to feel the way you do though ~ I still admire your strength of character and will, even if you think it’s not there.


  10. i’m sorry you are not feeling well. i totally believe in acting ‘as if’. the will of man is a very powerful thing. it seems we usually experience this in a negative manner, but we can use the same powers to turn things around. IF we really want to. i’m thinking of you and hoping you start feeling better. you deserve to be happy!

  11. Pingback: Ho hum « Blue Eyed Heart

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