Yes, so no crying happened… but still. If I don’t like birthdays or parties, just what exactly is the reasoning behind throwing one for me?? I know, I know, I sound like a spoiled ungrateful brat, so to ward off the recriminations, I will acknowledge that. I do appreciate the sentiment, really. It’s just that parties make me feel extremely uncomfortable! Especially if my niece is there. I very stupidly finally told my dad why that is the case, and he said something like, “So every time you’re around someone who’s skinnier than you are, you’re going to act this way?!” I didn’t take very well to that. Not because I thought he was telling me I’m fat, but because everyone else is always in such a rush to say, “No, she’s not,” when I know that she is; and my totally uncensored dad is the only one who can admit that. Meaning everyone is always lying to me. Not the greatest thing for someone who already has trust issues, you know?
Anyway, enough of that.
I gave myself a French manicure on Friday. Or attempted to, anyway… I haven’t done it in ages, and it shows. My right hand is really a sight to behold, believe me.
This is totally at odds with my toenails, which are never not painted black.
Since the party was on Saturday, which was my birthday (lucky lucky birthday-hating me has two — because in my family we celebrate Hebrew birthdays, according to the lunar calendar; which only falls out on the same date as the birthday according to the Gregorian calendar every nineteen years), I couldn’t take any pictures. There was a cake which may or may not have been quite lovely; I couldn’t say, since I didn’t know of its existence until one of my nephews started carrying around slices and offering it to people, after my dad had cut it open. I thought I was supposed to cut my own birthday cake, but I haven’t had one in a while, so what do I know? So sorry about the nasty cake pictures. The pretty card makes up for it, though, yes?
My mom told me that they wanted to give me a gift on my birthday, but it’s coming from China and it won’t arrive until September 11. Which totally doesn’t make any sense, according to what I saw… but whatever, I won’t ask any questions. The boat with my books is docking on September 11, too… yay! My sister said that our Chinese “liaison” picked it up for them (“it” being whatever this mysterious gift is)… which really makes no sense!! Oh, the mystery.
Some random food pictures, of course.
Waffles with a “sauce” made out of pancake syrup microwaved with blackberries, blueberries, and raspberries… I started to mash the berries afterward but decided this worked better. And it looked prettier too, don’t you think?!
Speaking of things looking pretty… a couple of weeks ago I finally broke down and bought a julienne peeler. It’s actually quite cool — it’s three peelers in one! A regular peeler, one for thin skin (i.e. tomatoes), and the julienne blade… which is really all I wanted!
It is awesome. It is also pathetic how excited I get when things work the way they’re supposed to work, but whatever. Look at this beautiful pile of julienned zucchini and yellow squash!
And then I killed several birds with one stone by topping it with the most heavenly mushroom recipe ever (the dead bird here is the jar of mushrooms that expires in September), plus a meatless mini loaf (which just needs to stop taking up space in my freezer).
Since I was apparently in the mood to be finishing up things that needed to be finished up, I used a lemon supreme cake mix (for some reason, we have about seventeen dozen boxes of cake mix in the basement) and made a “lemon jello cake” … sans lemon jello. I don’t think my brother is overly fond of citrus anyway, so it’s all good.
So I guess that’s that for the photographic entertainment.
My mom and I had another lovely argument today. I’m not going to get into the details, because contextually it probably won’t make any sense to anyone reading this. But it made me really, really mad. I am so tired of constantly hearing what a disappointment I am because I can’t, or won’t, live up to everyone’s expectations of me… and because they just refuse to accept me as I am. I should be used to this whole “black sheep” crap after all these years, but apparently I’m not. It never fails to make me feel guilty, guilty, guilty… as if I don’t already have enough self-hatred?! Please.
I was going to buy a new camera today, but my sister told me that I shouldn’t do that… she said that when her camera broke, even though it wasn’t under warranty anymore, she called Canon… apparently they have really good customer service, and she sent them the camera so that they could fix it. Before they would fix it, though, they’d tell me if there’s the option to upgrade… which would cost less than a new camera! So I guess I’m going to try calling them tomorrow… but how will I live a week without a camera?! (I already told my brother I’d be adopting his… it isn’t like he ever really uses it anyway!)
I’m really kind of dreading going back to work tomorrow… I don’t think I hate my job per se. I’m just … blue, for lack of a better word, and it’s harder to distract myself from that when I need to be focusing on the task at hand. Maybe that’s part of the reason why I seem to have stopped blogging every day… well, not because I need to be focusing at work, as I don’t blog at work! But I’m just devoid of the energy for it, I guess. Doesn’t seem worth the expenditure, like it doesn’t matter… and I’m doing a really bad job of explaining this, which shouldn’t matter either because who really cares?! So I’ll just be quiet now.
Have a fabulous start to your week!