Monday Musings

I really need to put something more exciting / interesting on my “About” page, but I’m not a particularly exciting / interesting person, so I am rather lost! Any ideas?!

Apparently today was just not my day. On the surface, it didn’t start out too badly at all.

I did say I have too much jewelry...

I did say I have too much jewelry...

overnight oat bran

overnight oat bran

Last night, I made oat bran and stuck it in the refrigerator just to see what would happen. I nearly threw it out when I looked at it this morning, because it was pretty much a congealed blob!! But once I gamely stirred it up, it achieved a more normal consistency for oat bran, and it was actually pretty good. But I really do miss cereal in the worst way.

I was stressing out on my way to work, and I thought, Okay, not going to go there… think about something else! For some inexplicable reason, a zoo popped into my head, so, okay, we’re going to think about a zoo now. A zoo is full of animals that look like you look / feel! (Hippos, elephants, pigs, cows… yes, I know the last two are farm animals and not likely to be found in a zoo, but clearly this was not one of my more rational moments.)

There was some good news at work, though: my boss will be out for the rest of the week!! (Well, I’m leaving early tomorrow for my re-scheduled therapy appointment, and taking off Thursday completely, but still. This pleases me very much.) No, the stress began when it was time to go home.Β  And it had nothing to do with the fact that we look like a city of crazy people who carry around umbrellas and rain gear in the glaring sunshine.Β  Because, well, five minutes later, it’s raining again.Β  That’s old news, though.

Would somebody please explain to me why fare increases are accompanied by shoddier and shoddier service?! I stood on the same train for close to fifteen minutes, then just gave up in disgust, went outside and hoofed it four blocks to another line. Not that that part of my commute was all smooth, though… it’s a long long story, but suffice it to say that it took me twice as long to get home as it usually does. This was due partly to the fact that I had to get off at a particular stop to get this:

chocolate sundae

chocolate sundae

Obviously not something I’m completely comfortable with… and all that aside, I can remember the first time I ever ate one of these. It was when I was ten and in sleepaway camp for the first time, and I was horribly homesick. (HA… who would have believed that?!) My parents came up on visiting day and no, would not let me come home, but I clearly remember that my dad bought me a sundae from the canteen. I have no idea whether I’ve had it since then, but it always reminds me of that. Anyway, that was random. But it was quite traumatic for me to have it now!! So this was sort of an odd coincidence, then… and I did not do it on purpose.

it's a heart!

it's a heart!

Random photo — it looks really gross, kind of like pet food, but it doesn’t taste like it! (Well, it doesn’t taste really gross. I’ve never tasted pet food.)

for the toothless folk

for the toothless folk

I saw my nutritionist today for the last time before she leaves for the summer. I was already frustrated because of how long it had taken me to get home, and then there was some sort of incident along the way to her house so that the street was blocked off, and I got lost… my GPS couldn’t help me, because it kept sending me down the blocked-off street! I was in a hurry, too, because my dad needed the car. Anyway… I want to know why on earth she upped my calories SO MUCH!! Even if, as she says, I “barely gained” (and her definition of “barely” is hardly equivalent to mine), I still did… is it really necessary to practically double my intake?!?! I am feeling extremely discomfited… it would be so, so much easier if I was able to actually eat like a normal person right now. Okay, so maybe that isn’t strictly true, but when I was IP I had to make up a list of fear foods, and way up at the top was multiple Ensure Pluses. I am going insane. I already am insane.

I slapped a note for Operation Beautiful on the scale at the gym this morning:

"You are beautiful no matter what I say"

"You are beautiful no matter what I say"

And this is extremely amusing to me. For the Question of the Day (well, the second one, the first one being what on earth to do with my “About” page!)… What is this, and what does it look like?!


14 responses to “Monday Musings

  1. lilveggiepatch

    WOOHOO for no boss!

    That looks like portable protein powder… am I close?

    Beautiful necklace, by the way! I need to restock my jewels πŸ™‚

  2. YES, it is necessary for you to double your intake. Your metabolism catches up with you…gaining is not as easy as our EDs would like to have us think.

    Haha, when I was gaining the first time around, I swear to God my nutrish would practically triple my intake every week, even if I’d gained a lot…no wonder I gained so quickly then…

    Anyways! That’s so cute about the sundae – maybe a sign!?!?

  3. That necklace is SUPER cute! Yay for ice cream! I do think that our food can give us messages! *creepy music* doo-doo-doo-dooo… haha.

    Have a wonderful day!

  4. that looks like coke to me (not that I would know πŸ˜› ) but still…I’d be suspicious of a bag of white powder, lol.

    Commuting sucks, no two ways about it. Did you cook the oatbran or just soak it? I’ve never had it before and always imagine it like cream of wheat but it seems popular…

  5. rediscoveringlauren

    i love where you put the operation beautiful note πŸ™‚
    hang in there with the gaining hun..remeber its SO worth it in the end!

  6. Hey there sweetheart. I’m sorry you are going through a hard time now. I see the dietitian for the first time today, and I’m super nervous. Let’s get through this though, kay?

    Um… agar powder? Cream of tartar? Protein?

  7. I am struggling to gain weight too but we have to push ourselves. I am stronger than my ED. Cute necklace? I have no clue what’s in the baggie. Tell me, tell me!

  8. You make me smile πŸ™‚ I’m sorry you’re having a rough time too, but I woke up this morning (sleeping works wonders doesn’t it?) and decided one meal at a time. It is possible!

    That ice cream totally transported me back to being 8, going to the town pool with my best friend without a care in the world! Oh to be young and not give a shit about anything again πŸ˜›

    I’m sorry but maybe it’s because I’m still in college, but the baggie made me chuckle.

    Have a fabulous Tuesday!
    ❀ Jenn

  9. I was thinking about my own “About Page” and I was going to do a questions and answer post and ask my readers if there was anything they wanted to know about me and keep it on my About Page, but then it all depends on what sort of questions you get, just an idea for you anyway.

  10. That last picture looks like protein powder or sugaaaa!?!?!

    But i’m sorry about the rough couple days girl, just hang in there….it only gets better! πŸ™‚

  11. Is that…baking soda? I know! Cocaine! Haha, jk. Ok, I’m not funny.
    Well, I would like to know anything random about you. Your dreams, your goals, your favorite things. What makes you cry, what makes you angry, what makes you smile, what makes you laugh…Anything!

  12. I always say there is no such thing as too much jewelery, weather you just own or are wearing it more is always more to me πŸ˜‰

    I’m just not even sure what that is a picture of…so I’m not even gonna try!

    Hope your having a great day with nooo boss!!

  13. I’m so sorry you have been having such stressful moments and getting so down on yourself. I know that things may seem tough and overwhelming but you MUST keep pushing yourself. So yes you do need to double your intake. You are still SO incredibly thin and as much as you don’t want to believe it, the truth is that your body really needs those extra calories. It sucks and oh the feeling can be frustrating but it’s about trusting someone who KNOWS BETTER and will do something that is good for you. Just believe in the best and things will start to shine brighter.
    Love the placement of your operation beautiful post! Sooo important to remind yourself of such things!
    And yay for eating that sunday…the heart was a sign that it was meant for you and that God loves you and that you are doing the RIGHT thing!

  14. Pingback: Idiocy Pays « Blue Eyed Heart

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