New rule: I don’t want to get obsessed with food food food, so I am not allowed to post pictures of anything edible unless I post pictures of non-food too. Hence:
This morning it was raining. (SURPRISE!) Anticipating how fat and bloated I would feel from following my meal plan, I was sorely tempted to just throw on a sweatshirt and go. I usually do wear sweatshirts anyway. But knowing that my niece’s bat mitzvah was tonight, and that I would have to change, made me re-think that, and I decided to actually get dressed for once. I wore something that I would be able to wear to the bat mitzvah too, but that is loose enough so that I don’t feel like I’m being strangled to death. Although the material is so flimsy that you can see my waistband, which drives me crazy, but I’m trying to convince myself that nobody notices that but me. And would you believe that I actually own an article of clothing which matches those crazy red and purple earrings I got in Barbados?!
I even did my makeup! (Okay, so I do that every day. Shh.)
Haha, that’s a bit of a frightening picture, now that I think about it!
After my nutritionist’s appointment last night, I made a stop at the supermarket. Primarily because I needed to buy soy milk. Guess what I forgot to buy? So I had to pop in to Whole Foods this morning for that… it just makes me feel like such a moron to forget the main item that precipitated the trip! But I also got some other things while I was there… including blackberries, which I guess I’ll have to freeze since apparently I won’t be able to eat them.
And then I got this.
Just kidding. It really looks like this.
But it’s the same thing to me. It looks like it should be indulgent and sinful, but honestly? It didn’t even taste that good. And I am telling you there was some sort of little creature inside it that kept screeching Stop now, throw the rest out, you’ve had enough! Which I didn’t do, but I can’t help feeling kind of annoyed that I am “wasting” calories on something that disappointing.
Somewhere along the line today, these things showed up.
The ones on the left are carob-coated, and the ones on the right are chocolate-coated. I don’t really like carob, but I wanted to compare them, and they’re oddly high-calorie for rice chips, so… anyway, this is kind of weird, but the carob-coated ones tasted like a coffee shop smells. (I’d say they taste like coffee, but seeing as I don’t drink the stuff, I wouldn’t really know!)
I had to finish this up because it expires in early July, it is impossible on your teeth, and I am going to lose the ability to use said teeth for a bit. (Sad, because I have always preferred things well-done… I do not like soft and mushy!!) It wasn’t as hard to chew as the original flavor, but that could just be because I was expecting it to be worse. It did taste quite distinctly of pepper!
When I got back from work, I decided that just going to the bat mitzvah and “eating dinner” there was probably not going to happen, and if I start messing up… well, you know. So I ate at home before I went. And I’m actually kind of glad I did that, because my mom? Yeah. I know I’ve said this before, but oh my goodness — she drives me crazy!!
All of this has made for a very tiring day. On a logical level, I guess I know that it’s not really possible to gain much weight in one day, if at all; even though my calories have nearly doubled practically overnight, a fact which I am trying valiantly to avoid… but it still feels like I have. That’s the trap I always fall into, because I seem to have some sort of misguided belief that I can miraculously gain back every bit of weight I’ve lost, all within the span of a single meal. Knowing that that’s ridiculous doesn’t make me any less terrified of it, though. Apparently there is a world of difference between knowledge and application of that knowledge.
I am still really dreading this wisdom tooth extraction. (Well, duh — who likes it?!) I am not a fan of the liquid diet — it just makes me feel all water-logged and sluggish! I hope my apparently miraculous physical health at the moment proves indicative of my innate freakishness which will have me back to normal in no time at all. Some people have horror stories, some people say it was just fine. I’d like to be one of the lucky ones this time around.