Okay, “hate” is a bit of a strong word. Though it’s not actually all bad, considering, since I’m an ardent believer in the theory that you cannot actually hate someone if you don’t love them first, because otherwise, the hate is a wasted sentiment. Anyway.
I mentioned last week that I stupidly bought a computer monitor instead of a TV monitor for the Wii … and I wanted to go exchange it tonight, but my mom went off on me about how we’re not getting a TV screen for the Wii until someone gives me “permission” to use it. (Which ensued in a fantastic argument between us, of which I will spare you the details.) Now, I did discuss this with my therapist, and we basically arrived at the conclusion that I am an adult and should be allowed to make such decisions on my own… as in, if I feel that a Wii could be detrimental to me in any way, I should be able to take responsibility for my own actions and do something about that. For the record, I never really had a problem with overexercising. Compulsive, yes, but that’s another issue entirely. In any case, trying to tell my mom that I would like to be treated like an adult? Yeah, kind of like talking to a brick wall. I am just so frustrated with her, which spills over into a general fury at the economy which is making it so impossible for me to move out, which somehow gets turned back into a general fury at myself because … gee, I don’t know, I’m not a millionaire!
She has absolutely impeccable timing, too… oh, sure, it could just be coincidence, but it seems that she always starts haranguing me either right before or right after I’ve eaten. (Hmmm… might this be because I’m always eating?!) You know the whole classical conditioning model theory?… Yeah, in that vein, this generally does not equate eating with a pleasurable experience.
That said, she and I set out way too early on a Sunday morning to go to the conference. It was really geared more toward “professionals,” which made me really wonder why I was there at all! In a totally unrelated side note, I saw my undergraduate Eating Disorders professor, Mr. Family Therapist, and my social worker from IP, among other random assorted people.
I’m really bad at summarizing and recapping — I can answer specific questions, but general overviews? Not really my forte! Basically, I found it somewhat disappointing. I mean, it’s really great that they’re trying, I guess… but it still seems to me like something is missing. They’re just not really getting it. At one of the workshops I attended, the moderator (someone who is supposed to be at the forefront of the field!!) said something so incredibly stupid… the pathetic part is that I have absolutely no recollection of what it was, I just remember thinking, Please tell me she did NOT just say that. I wound up leaving a little early, because I just couldn’t take it anymore… I felt like I was sitting there and listening to the same things I’d been hearing for years, and clearly none of it was enough to make a difference.
I am about a third of the way through Lady Chatterley’s Lover, because I think it is an utter disgrace that I’ve never read it. I’m generally not a big romance novel reader… even my “chick lit” tends to veer away from the heavily romantic. But I did make one observation about all of these chick lit novels… the heroines always have a tightly-knit group of close friends who act as an adopted family, substituting for the crazy blood relatives. Am I living on another planet? Or do people out there really experience friendships / relationships in that way?? Now I feel like I’m missing out on both ends, here…