Shiver Shiver

…No, not from the cold, although it is kind of chilly for this late in the year!! I am “shiver shiver”ing out of fear, I guess.

I love going on vacations. They are an important part of my mental well-being, which clearly is in too precarious of a state to be messed with!! But the pre-vacation stress is just so… stressful. I hate packing. For myself, anyway — I’m great at it if I’m doing it for someone else! It only makes it worse that I need to worry about five days’ worth of food too. It is making me extremely anxious and uncomfortable to have it all around. Which is ridiculous, because it’s not like there isn’t always a crazy amount of food in this house, so I ought to be used to it… but obviously I’m not, and that anxiety is spilling over into other areas, some of which are even unbeknownst to me! I hate feeling afraid of things, because I’m generally not a fearful person. I guess, in my mind, it’s equated with weakness in a way, and why on earth would I want to be associated with that?

I could go on and on in this vein, and I probably should for “cathartic” reasons if no other, or to get it straight in my head before I see my therapist tomorrow, but I am just too tired and my head hurts too much for me to think about it.

Though I am shuddering at the thought of victuals at the moment, I have to share my latest discovery. Actually, I bought it a while ago, but just realized I ought to eat it before the expiration date… and I loved it. I thought it was a dip, but there are chunks of eggplant in it, so you can really eat it with a fork. Total admission of picture-stealing here, because I’m too lazy to go downstairs and take my own.

There was a lovely little episode with the USPS today in which my Amazon package was non-delivered. Two of them, actually. This must be why the postage fees were increased, right? You’d think it was coming from halfway across the world instead of the next state! And my grades still aren’t all in yet, though supposedly they were going to be in at 3.00 PM. Hmph.

I guess the most appropriate emotion of today would be fear, if that counts as an emotion? … Just don’t know what else to call it. Anxiety would probably work too. On the upside, though, something really unusual happened today, and I had a good hair day. One that lasted all day. When does that ever happen?!?! (The correct answer is “never.”)



6 responses to “Shiver Shiver

  1. Argh, I hate packing too! I’m sure you’ll have a great time though (:

  2. yes, fear counts as an emotion- a very valid one too! Vacations, as much as I loved them, cause me a lot of stress with packing, etc…once I’m *there* I have a good time but the anticipation jumps wildly between excitement and anxiety (I am already stressed about NY and that’s not until October!) I am sure you’ll have a great time 🙂

  3. Have a great time on your vacation!!!!

  4. good hair days can make any bad day better, I think. Im sorry that you are experiencing some anxiety/fear. Packing always sucks for me too…which is why I usually have someone else do it for me. haha.

    Cheer up girlfriend I’m sure you have nothing to be afraid of!

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