The Ex Files

Just to clarify, in case it isn’t glaringly obvious by now, I am a natural cynic/skeptic. I’m not sure quite when it happened or how, but as far as I can recall, I never really believed in love (as it would pertain to me). This is why it is extremely strange and out of character for the following to have happened at all. I describe it as my four-year moment of insanity.

No need to get into the lurid details, really… but when my extended insanity drew to a close, I was reminded all over again why I never believed in love in the first place. But I’m not even so concerned with the emotional aspect of it … you know, the whole part where someone swears they couldn’t live without you, blah blah blah, and then it turns out they were lying through their teeth. I can accept that. At issue here is the overstuffed bag hiding at the back of my closet which I refuse to unearth because I have no idea what I would do with its contents. I don’t particularly care to be reminded of him!

Why do I bring this up now, you ask? … Well. He’s getting married in a couple of weeks. And even though, had I known a few years ago that this would be the situation today, it would have utterly destroyed me, I genuinely believe I do not care. I look at it this way: Better her than me. Because really, I don’t think I could have / would have been able to be completely happy / myself with him. Hindsight is twenty-twenty, and all that. But still. This stupid bag has got to go somewhere!!

Today was actually sunny… I was so thrilled to see that unfamiliar yellow thing in the sky, I didn’t even mind so much that it was so incredibly windy, I was nearly carried away by a gust of wind the moment I stepped out the door.

You can’t really tell in a still photo, but that plastic bag was flapping around like crazy and making an enormous racket! (I have no idea why this photo is sideways… and I don’t know how to flip it, so I won’t even bother trying!)

I also had another Oooh, earrings I haven’t yet worn, and they match what I’m wearing! moment today. Pardon the wire.

In other innovation news, I decided to try toasting a wrap. It may or may not have gotten a bit burned… what can I say, I like things to be crispy.

And I finally got around to purchasing a box of Kashi crunchy granola bars… I think there must be something wrong with the scanner at Target, because I only paid $1.84 for these, and they were supposed to be $3.09… I’m pretty sure they weren’t on sale!! I should have gotten the other two kinds, too. ๐Ÿ˜‰

During my marathon study day (I’ve been studying pretty much nonstop since 11.30 AM … someone shoot me), I took a little break to decompress. I haven’t baked in forever, and I always find that relaxing. Good thing I have a brother around to actually eat all this stuff!!

Three issues on tap at the moment:

  • I mentioned in yesterday’s post this Renfrew conference which my mom is apparently interested in attending… and having me attend, as well. I can’t make up my mind whether I want to waste a perfectly good Sunday doing something like that, and she’s driving me nuts to come to a decision. Don’t we all know that I’m horrible at making decisions?!
  • Yes, I’m horrible at making decisions, but I did finally settle on the dive shop I’m going to use in Barbados. (One week!) I called to semi-confirm. Now I have to tell the other one that I’m not using them… and I don’t know how to do that. Technically I can just not tell them anything, but that wouldn’t really be very nice of me. What am I supposed to say??
  • Finals are tomorrow. Thank goodness, because if I have to study any more, I am probably going to shoot myself. The more I study, the dumber I feel!! I don’t think I know anything at all, but I just want to take these stupid tests already, get them over with, and let that be that.
  • From my “emotions” sheet, right now I feel very discouraged about these finals… but I suppose I am also marginally excited that by this time tomorrow, I will probably be done. Hopefully successfully. But I feel sort of hopeless in that regard… short of some form of heavenly intervention!! …I guess I should go back to stuffing my poor overextended brain.

    Hope you’ve all had a good weekend!!


    7 responses to “The Ex Files

    1. itsawrapteacher

      Now I’m kind of curious what happened with the ex. I wish I could be as strong as you. I would be devastated if I found out my ex-fiance was getting married. A part of me will always love him despite all the hurt I went through. I’m glad you learned and grew from your relationship.

      I agree, baking in very therapeutic! That’s how I relieve my stress.

    2. Relationships always leave a mark, whether good or bad. It is always difficult to hear what exes are up to (getting married!), but I’m glad to hear that you are stronger than it.

      I love baking when stressed. It is so relaxing. ๐Ÿ™‚

      Good luck with finals! Just think… soon you’ll be done!


    3. I actually kind of like you…a cynic/skeptic, esp when it comes to romantic relationships…not sure it’s a good thing, though. some ppl swear that the few moments of bliss they share is worth all the pain and drama. huh?

    4. Cynical people are pretty fun to talk to, actually! It’s got to be a weird feeling to know your ex is getting married, but I know you’re better off without him! GOOD LUCK with your finals, and I think you should go to the conference!

    5. jesslikesithot

      How was the wrap toasted?! That sounds like such a good idea!
      Good luck tomorrow, i’m sure you will do great!-then you can relax! ๐Ÿ™‚

    6. Past relationships are always kind of tricky- sounds like you have a lot of perspective on it, but it”s still always weird to hear about an ex getting married/moving on :/

      LOOOOOOVE the earrings! You should post a pic of the whole collection! How many pairs do you have?

      As for the diving- you don’t owe any explanation. They don’t need to know that you are even still coming, let alone using a different place.

    7. Well done for making the decision about the dive shop! I really hope your finals go well today ๐Ÿ™‚
      I wish I had some advice about the ex situation. I can’t even remember what I did with the stuff that mine left around my house, I think that’s still at the back of my wardrobe too. Oops! Maybe you should just throw it out :p

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