Never thought I’d live to see the day when I actually wanted the weekend to be over, but in forty-eight hours from now, I will be done with all of my finals. I am so damn sick of looking at words that I need to basically memorize… especially when that is the stupidest learning device ever. I mean, really. It’s so untrue to life, because if a situation cropped up in which I desperately needed to know something I didn’t know, I would just look it up!! So incredibly annoying.
Anyway, I really do need to be studying, but I needed to have a little vent session, here. My mom apprised me of this latest development last night. Am I wrong in being upset about this? Well, not the existence of this per se, but that she’s doing all of this “researching” essentially behind my back?
First of all, she knows how I feel about Renfrew. No disrespect intended towards those for whom it has worked, but I think that they are one of the biggest revolving doors out there. Solely for financial reasons, of course; as in, hey, more patients means more money for us! And their fees are astronomical. There is no way in hell I could afford that, even if I wanted to, which means it’s a good thing that I don’t.
My parents would offer to pay for it, because they would feel that it’s the “thing to do.” I’m not saying they don’t care, or they don’t mean it. But I am determined to never, ever accept money from them. Especially not for treatment. This should be my recovery. Which means I have to own all aspects of it. And really, this is all quite ridiculous. I might be able to understand a little better if I was at death’s door or something, but I’m not. And I have no plans to be! As it is, I just feel… violated.
She also mentioned this conference, and asked if I am “considered” a student, because then I can pay the student rate. Um… I am a student!! But did I ever say I wanted to go?! It drives me insane that she presumes to know these things about me without even asking.
Okay. I really need to process this. But I suppose it will have to wait a couple of days, because I must get back to the books. Ugh!! I am still feeling overwhelmed from an information overload, but now I think I also feel tired. Not in a “sleep-or-else” way, more like a “can’t-take-any-more-of-this” way!