Monthly Archives: May 2009

Blank

I’ve been puzzling over what I’m going to write here — not that I have to blog every day or anything, but you know — and I’m drawing a total blank. I guess that would be fine if I just didn’t feel like writing; the problem is that I don’t feel anything, really. Which brings to mind the question… is it possible to overthink your emotions so much that you basically think them out of existence?? I’m starting to half-worry that I’m a psychopath!

This “lack of emotion” is actually probably partly depression. I’m a very weird depressed person… I don’t crawl into bed and cry or anything. Thanks to my “best friend” in high school enlightening me to the fact that people don’t like to be around other people who are depressed, and the fact that I don’t need to detract from my already-questionable appeal, for all intents and purposes I go about life as usual. There’s just a very big, very dark cloud hanging over my head, and I guess I’m too busy “moping” to feel much of anything!

I was very very stupid and weighed myself at the gym this morning. The number isn’t really relevant. What bothers me is that something so mundane should be such a big deal. I don’t want to get back into the habit of weighing myself every day, because that would drive me absolutely crazy, and I won’t. It’s just the principle of the matter, I guess. I feel like I should be able to hop on a scale, hop right back off again, and go about my life without a second thought. And I can’t do that.

One of the reasons, I think, why I am so “resistant” to gaining weight is that being underweight sort of gives me a “goal” … and if I were at a normal weight, that goal wouldn’t exist anymore, and I’d be totally lost. It sounds kind of crazy, I know, but “beggars can’t be choosers,” after all. I hate to think that my entire purpose in life is to gain a few pounds! But is the alternative (having no purpose at all) really any better?

Enough of that for now!

Just to show how easily amused I am: I washed this shirt by hand in the sink. I am extremely glad that A) I didn’t wash anything else along with it and B) it didn’t rain on the day that I wore it! Three guesses what color this shirt is. ;p

And a shoutout to Katie — kale chips!

I would identify an emotion, but clearly, that isn’t going to happen today.

Sadly, the weekend is over… but I hope you all have a great week!

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RaMbLe!

I don’t know how I can profess to ever refer to myself as a “writer” when I feel like I do so poorly in communicating what I’m trying to say… but here goes nothing. (This is the long ramble I warned you about yesterday… and it may veer into “woe is me” territory because everyone needs to have a good moping session once in a while, I guess! It might also get weight-centric, and even though I will not mention specific numbers, I just wanted to put that out there. So consider yourself forewarned!)

Going in to my nutritionist yesterday, I knew that nothing good could come of it. This is why scales are so irritating: no matter what they say, it’s always the “wrong” thing. The ED part of me would be thrilled if I lost weight; my nutritionist would not. The ED part of me would be devastated if I gained weight; my nutritionist would be thrilled. I’d be ambivalent if I maintained; my nutritionist would be annoyed that I didn’t gain. It’s like nothing is ever good enough… if I lost, it’s, “You didn’t even maintain!” If I maintained, it’s, “You didn’t even gain!” If I gained, it’s, “You barely even gained!” And so on. I just can’t win. And if my nutritionist expects that I lost (like if I go off on vacation), and I come back and surprise!, I’m just as “fat” as ever, I feel like I’ve done something wrong, because if that wasn’t the case, nobody would be surprised.

Along these lines, I might be inferring things here, but I really feel like it doesn’t matter what I do / don’t do. It doesn’t seem to matter whether I actually eat. If I do, and lose weight, everyone is upset with me. If I don’t, and gain weight anyway, then all is fine and dandy. I’ve tried and tried, but I just can’t seem to really express how that makes me feel. It’s like, I hate food logs. Really loathe them. And I have to go through the rigmarole of writing it all down, but half of the time, nobody even sees it, because it only seems to matter to anyone if I’ve lost weight!

I know that “it’s not about the weight,” but what else am I supposed to think, if all signs indicate that it is?? I have a very hard time separating myself from the mentality that “weight gain = bad.” Even if I’m “trying” to gain weight, I inevitably feel like a pathetic weak failure when I do. Contradictory much? … I don’t really care what scales do or don’t say about it… I grew up without a scale at home, so I always had to gauge my weight by my appearance. Since I think I look pretty normal, it just perplexes me that I should have to gain weight at all. Realistically speaking, I know that my “initial goal weight” is still underweight for my height, which should “soothe” the ED part of my brain, but it doesn’t. I know what I look like at that weight. And I don’t like it.

Of course, there are a bunch of other fears wrapped up in this — some rational, some not so much. But any time I sit down to try and sort through them, I can’t seem to stop them swirling through my brain long enough to actually do it! I ought to make a separate post out of that… right now I think I’ve incoherently babbled long enough, and I still haven’t successfully managed to convey what I am trying to say.

This ramble ends here.


To address Katie’s comment on my last post … this is apparently the history of the scale. Evil thing. Blame Leonardo da Vinci.

Every single time I book a massage, I make sure to request a female masseuse. Always. Wouldn’t you know… this time, I forgot. And so… “Hi, I’m Craig.” Lovely. Just lovely. That is wrong on so many levels (religious as well as personal), I can’t even begin to describe it. If I had a single assertive bone in my body, I would have said something, but I don’t, so I didn’t. To be fair, he did get all of the knots out of my neck / shoulders (how on earth did it get that bad that fast?!) … but, oh, my goodness, he would not shut up! (Here is where that assertiveness thing would have come in handy again!) And the things he was babbling about were not exactly things I was interested in discussing.

He started right away and asked me, “What’s your favorite food?” I thought this was a very odd question for a massage therapist to ask, but I told him that I don’t have one. At that, I was treated to a litany of what he is going to eat today… tomato, avocado, broccoli, celery, raw pumpkin seeds, sunflower seeds… apparently he’s been eating raw for two weeks. Well, yay. Am I supposed to care??

Then he told me that I have no body fat, and it’s “very healthy.” Oh, yeah, and he recommended that I take creatine and pump iron, because I am “naturally shredded” and I should take advantage of it, because he’s been trying to get rid of his body fat and it’s so difficult. (At this point, I wanted to bite his head off and tell him that I am not “naturally shredded,” I have a $@*%ing eating disorder and if I have zero body fat it’s because I went through hell for it, not because I was born that way!) Stupid me, I thought that if I keep my mouth shut, he would take the hint and shut his, but nope, doesn’t work that way. I’ll spare you all the stupid details with which I was regaled, but seriously… it’s a pity he couldn’t just be quiet, because otherwise it really was an effective massage. Guess that’s what I get for sticking with the guy. I think next time I will request a female massage therapist who does not speak English.

After that somewhat disconcerting experience, I went to Whole Foods and bought flowers. I had no idea that they had such pretty ones! I got a “summer sun” bouquet.

I bought the bouquet on the right; my dad bought the one on the left. I have absolutely no clue why we have such a glut of vases in this house, since I’m the only one here who even remotely likes flowers! But we do have quite the assortment.

A couple of “reviews” …


Kashi Heart to Heart — this totally figures, because I just bought the one cup instead of an entire box! But I liked it — it has the perfect amount of sweetness and the perfect texture.

This isn’t exactly a “review,” just a strange combination I’ve been meaning to try for a while, but I just never got around to it…

I crushed half of the granola bar and mixed it into the oatmeal before I stuck the bowl in the microwave, and then crushed the second half and sprinkled it over the cooked oatmeal.

There really is oatmeal under there, I tell you!!

How incredibly sad is it that we’re still having “oatmeal weather” here?! I mean, hello, it’s nearly June!! Brrr.

Obviously, I did not fall asleep during my massage… nor did I go to sleep as soon as I came home, the way I’d planned, because a bunch of things came up! I really want to go to sleep as soon as I light candles… then I might get lucky and sleep through the night, averting the “eating at 10.00 PM” heart attack; or I will be alert enough to stay up reading all night. Somehow, though, as anxious / stressed as I am about this holiday, I have a feeling that this “nap” will not actually materialize…

Hope you all have a great weekend!

"All good things must come to an end."

Not to be depressing or anything, but that is definitely true. I met a friend for lunch today, and she said that I need to go on vacation more often, because I’m much more relaxed afterwards. (We’re ignoring the part where the credit card bill arrives, obviously.) Well. Wednesday is the day I see my nutritionist, which basically rendered moot all of the alleged goodwill and cheer. I knew going in that it couldn’t possibly end well… scales mess with my head every time, even if I’m not the one weighing myself. It’s incredible what that stupid hulk of metal can do to throw me into a complete tailspin… I could have been doing sort-of okay with the whole food / eating thing, and then out of the blue it becomes terrifying and absolutely not okay, just because I stepped on a scale!! I really, truly hate this. Lucky for you, though, it’s insanely late for someone operating on such a sleep deficit, so I won’t ramble on about that right now… that will happen tomorrow instead!

Check out these earrings that I bought in Barbados… aren’t they crazy?! I just love insane jewelry.

Some “reviews,” hmmm?

First, a Bar of the Day (Cherry Almond Keribar):

This was the last as-yet-untasted flavor for me, and it did not disappoint! As always, you can see the individual ingredients (almonds! cherries! flax seeds!)…

I find it really weird that I like this, since I don’t particularly care for almonds or flax seeds! But the seeds do add a nice little crunch. So, my summation of Keribars is that they are really good stuff, and if you haven’t tried them, you’re missing out. 😉

This morning I broke out the second of the frightening cereals!

It was pretty much the same thing as the Island Vanilla which I reviewed yesterday… it just tasted more like cinnamon instead of vanilla! I tried dropping each “biscuit” into the soymilk individually, and while that worked out fine in terms of texture, it got very annoying very fast. I’ll finish these boxes, but I doubt I’ll buy them again… Still, I’m glad I tried them, because now I won’t have to pass them on the supermarket shelf and wonder what I’m missing because I’m too scared to find out!

And while this is not a review per se, I just wanted to “introduce” the. best. soy. crisps. ever. I don’t know why, but these just taste so much better than the regular Glenny’s soy crisps. (Naturally, then, they’re harder to find!)

One of my brothers brought over these roses for us for Shavuos… aren’t they pretty??

I’m going to buy some flowers too tomorrow, on my way home from my massage… which I’m sure I will enjoy once I’m there, but nonetheless I always face these things with a little bit of dread because I am so uncomfortable with having people touch me! Although I guess it won’t matter, if I fall asleep, which is looking more and more likely…

Here Comes the Bride…

…and she isn’t me.

My ex’s wedding is / was today. Lest you get the wrong idea, I want to be perfectly clear that I am not at all jealous of the girl he is marrying, and I would say that I wish them all the happiness in the world, except that I just don’t really care about them one way or the other. (Yep, I am cold and unfeeling. Too bad.)

I saw my therapist today, which isn’t my usual day to see her, but it was re-scheduled because of Shavuos. Anyway, one basic conclusion I reached is that I either really don’t care that he’s married, or I did such an amazing job of convincing myself that I don’t care, that I truly believe that I don’t. Either way, the result is the same, so I guess it’s irrelevant. But of course this brought us back to the subject of marriage… heaven only knows why we wind up talking about it so much!! I am basically the most umarriageable person EVER, which makes all of this discussion moot. The funny part is that if my therapist is right (I’ll get to that in a minute), I should be every guy’s dream come true. Hmmm. I guess she’s not right, then!

I had said something along the lines of it being very sad indeed if I’m the one who knows myself better than anyone else, because I really don’t feel like I know myself well at all. When she asked what I meant, I said that I just have a lot of trouble “defining” myself, and I always have… am I a “tomboy,” or am I a “girly girl”? I realize that it’s possible to have aspects of both, but they never seemed to jibe very well with me, for some reason. This is where she set out to explain to me how that is not only possible, but is actually the reality with me. According to her, I can be a girly girl because I like to look pretty… and her monologue was interrupted here by my (highly unladylike!) snort of laughter, because imagining myself as “pretty” is, in my mind, the equivalent of imagining myself as a seven-foot-tall Eskimo. It’s just not something I ever was, or ever will be, no matter how much I try! It isn’t that I think I am the most hideous thing ever to hit the planet, I just don’t think I’m “pretty” either… I guess I just am. Average, that is. (Not that I go around announcing my feelings on the subject, because people seem to feel some sort of perverse need to contradict others when they lambaste their own appearance, and I don’t need to be lied to, thank you very much!) If my therapist considers me a girly girl because I don’t just roll out of bed and out the door, I don’t know how reliable an index that is. Honestly, I just feel like people are more apt to gossip about those who don’t look like they’re trying to be presentable, and I hate it when people talk about me. So. There’s some motivation. Ha.

A-N-Y-W-A-Y. If my therapist is right about that previous paragraph, and about the fact that I am a sports fan and would opt to go to a game or do something athletic before watching a “chick flick,” then it really sounds like I am “every guy’s dream come true”! Of course, this is all existing in some alternate universe, because like I said, I am definitely not marriage material. Hell, I seriously doubt I am even relationship material! Pardon me while I go crawl back under my rock.

I guess I’ll have to come out in a couple of days, though, because I booked a massage for Thursday. I figured I would need some de-stressing prior to the holiday stresses! I wish I could afford another one afterwards too, but I have to pay through my teeth to have my wisdom teeth pulled, no pun intended… how ridiculous is it that I am actually going to pay someone one and half grand to pull my teeth out of my head?!

Turns out I was right about the sleep deprivation taking a day to catch up to me. As a result, I’m sure that the vast majority of what I’ve written makes little to no sense, so I’m going to move on and try to wrap up here!

I guess I have some “product reviews”:

Bar of the Day (Apple Peanut Butter Keribar)

I’m really starting to like Keribars… the individual ingredients are actually distinguishable, and you can see the pieces of apple and peanuts here. It’s nice to be able to identify what it is that you’re eating!

Kashi TLC Crunchy Granola Bar, Pumpkin Spice Flax

I wasn’t sure I’d like this flavor, because I’m not a major fan of pumpkin spice. But I was pleasantly surprised. While Kashi has yet to usurp my favorite Nature Valley granola bar flavor (which, for the record, is Apple Crisp), they are definitely growing on me. The fact that it has less sugar, and that it doesn’t taste so artificial, definitely doesn’t hurt!

On the topic of artificial flavors — I’m sure most of you know that Snapple has undergone some sort of image revamp. Addict that I am, I was so well-stocked with the old bottles that I didn’t get around to tasting a new one until yesterday! And… it tastes so much better!! Smoother, in a way, and a little less like you’re just pouring chemicals down your throat.

Back to Kashi… I tackled the Island Vanilla cereal this morning.

I guess that in my mind I had equated it with granola… and even though technically it’s half a cup of granola that’s equivalent on a caloric value with a cup of this cereal, it oddly doesn’t come across like that visually. Maybe because these are “biscuits,” and granola is a bunch of little pieces? I don’t know. But as a cereal, I thought this was a little disappointing. First of all, it is oddly “light” for the calories. Which is fine if you’re trying to condense, but I hate that. Second of all, it gets soggy very quickly. The flavor is not bad — a subtle vanilla-y sweetness — but it would be better straight from the box as opposed to with some sort of liquid.

I’ve mentioned that I am a cereal freak who could quite happily eat nothing but cereal for the rest of my life. I’ve always loved cereal. While agonizing over my Island Vanilla this morning, I started thinking about the disparity in the way I used to eat cereal as a kid, and the way I eat cereal now.

Then: Open cabinet. Remove Cocoa Pebbles. (There were Trix and Berry Berry Kix phases in there once, too.) Pour a big bowlful. Top with milk. Eat cereal. Pour milk down the drain.

Now: Choose from shelf of selected cereals / granolas which have “passed muster.” Measure out precise serving. Transfer to bowl. Add soy milk. Alternately eat and obssess.

Back then, it didn’t matter to me how many calories’ worth of cereal I had in my bowl. I wasn’t pouring the milk down the drain because I was worried about the calories; it was because I believed (and still do, actually!) that milk’s sole purpose was to moisten cereal, and having done that, it was pretty much useless. I just didn’t like the milk! And it never crossed my mind to concern myself with any possible accidental ingestion of lactic calories, and it never would have occurred to me that it would actually make sense to dilute the milk because of this. (To be fair, I did once eat cereal with orange juice, but only because I’d read about it in a book and was curious. It was, as expected, revolting.) Anyway, my point in all this rambling is that I just wonder where / why / how I got so hopelessly screwed up. Eating cereal (or anything!) ever again in the way I used to do it seems like an impossible feat. It makes me alternately sad and angry, because I just can’t figure out what happened to make me go so wrong.

…And, finally: blackberries!

I can now say with pretty fair certainty that I have never tried blackberries before. I would have remembered!! As it stands, I have a new favorite berry. It used to be raspberries, and they’re still fantastic, but I am now proclaiming my ardor for blackberries!! I just love falling in love with new produce.

Oh, and it turns out that WordPress dumps me in spam. Just a heads-up. 😉

Memorial Day

Before I start blathering and forget to mention this: If you are using WordPress, I can’t comment on your blog!! I noticed this on Stef’s, Sophia’s, and Debbie’s blogs. Heaven only knows how many others I thought I commented on and they just didn’t show up! I’m not trying to ignore anyone, but WordPress just hates me.

I believe I got a grand total of one and a half hours of sleep last night. I could have cried, I wanted to sleep so badly… but taking double the maximum recommended dose of Excedrin Migraine, plus two bottles of diet Snapple iced tea in a couple of hours, apparently just adds up to WAY too much caffeine. Around 4.00 AM I finally took a Benadryl in the hopes that it would knock me out. Which it did. An hour later. The worst part of this is that it will really hit me tomorrow; sleep deprivation seems to affect me with twenty-four-hour time lag. Ugh. I don’t want to go back to work. 😦

I may be sort of approaching a resolution to the Great Cottage Cheese Quandary! While I still don’t think I’d say I like cottage cheese, this was definitely more bearable than eating it straight-up. First off, I had my nifty little gadget.

It was actually a bit annoying to use: check out the “notice” in #3! Crazy.

Anyway, I “pureed” the cottage cheese with lemon juice (which I think was totally unnecessary!), cinnamon and Splenda. The pureeing got rid of that vomity texture; and the Splenda got rid of some of the acridity, I guess it is! It’s odd, because I generally love salt. But I digress. I spread it on whole wheat toast, and topped it with some of the raspberries I bought yesterday. And even more Splenda, because it just needed to be sweeter!!

I guess in lieu of the retail therapy which I did not have yesterday, I and my residual migraine (RAWWWR!) bought a skirt today…


I paid eight dollars for this… how awesome is that?! And it’s stretch denim, which I like so much more. Seriously, I don’t know how many jean skirts I need, but DEFINITELY not as many as I have!! Oh, well.

After that purchase, I went to Target… the haul:

I’d like to state for the record that the Mega Bloks truck in the back is NOT MINE. :p It’s a birthday present for one of my nephews. (The almonds aren’t for me, either… those are for my dad. Cholesterol-lowering properties.) And since Kashi was on sale, I think I went a little nuts. Here’s the thing, though… most of the Kashi cereals scare the crap out of me, because they’re higher-calorie than the cereals I would normally eat. But logic actually managed to pervade for once in my life, and I realized that if I can manage to eat half a cup of granola and not cause the world to implode, then it certainly won’t cause the end of civilization if I have the same caloric amount in a cup of cereal. Considering that fears are irrational things in general, this doesn’t completely settle me, but I guess it’s better than nothing.

On this general topic, I’ve sort of managed to ignore the fact that it is coming, but I think it’s time for me to face reality. Shavuos is coming, and it is coming SOON. Like, on Thursday night. I’m not so bothered by the cheesecake aspect of things, because I don’t like cheesecake — I never did. Because my mom is still feeling sort of out of it, none of my siblings are coming over, so I don’t have to be anxious about that part either. I think I’m just so pre-programmed to panic at the approach of a holiday that it happens semi-automatically. Actually, I DO have a specific “grievance.” Because it’s summertime (well, almost!) and sunset is later, we don’t get around to eating at night until well after 9.00. Eating late terrifies me. It doesn’t matter how many times people try to explain that it doesn’t matter WHEN you eat, really… it still scares me to death and I don’t know why, and every single Friday night in summer I have a mini heart attack because of it. This is one thing that is just not going to go away, and I need to learn to live / deal with it… but how can I do that when the people around me, who know how I feel about it, just tell me that I should “get over it” and learn that “life is not always going to work out the way you’d like” and other such platitudes? I know that. It doesn’t help me feel any better!

I did go to my sister’s house (because she has a full-size dairy oven, and we don’t) to bake a blueberry swirl cheesecake for Shavuos. Supposedly, blueberries help lower cholesterol, so my dad is big on them. (My fault, as I’m the one who told him that!) So I made blueberry pie filling from scratch, since I had some frozen blueberries to use up before they totally solidified into one huge chunk, and swirled it into the cheesecake batter. It actually turned out sort of pretty! I can’t wait to cut into it and see what the inside looks like. If it’s not marbleized, I will be very aggrieved. :p

Have I mentioned that I REALLY don’t want to go back to work tomorrow?! (Rhetorical question.) I’ve been neglectful of noting my feelings, so I will say now that I feel apprehensive about heading back to work. I don’t really know why, except for the possibility that I am going to be falling on my face with exhaustion. And as much as I am a bitch in general, I can get really cranky and snappish when I’m sleep-deprived. Oh, dear.

Someone Shoot Me

First of all, to answer a question asked about my last post, I used this type of camera to take my underwater pictures:

I technically could get a waterproof casing for my digital camera, but I love it too much to risk it. I could also choose to purchase an EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE waterproof digital camera, with flashbulbs, which means everything wouldn’t be blue… but I don’t think it’s a justifiable expense for me right now!

This morning I intended to buy cherries … but the store didn’t have any, of course. So I settled for this instead:

I don’t think I’ve ever tried blackberries before, actually. And it’s been ages since I’ve had fresh raspberries!

Now, this seems like an odd combination:

Okay, it IS an odd combination. But it turns out that it works kind of well together.

And just another totally random purchase. I absolutely love love love love this stuff!

So I went to the mall with my mom today… well, we just drove there together. Actually, she drove, which drives me nuts, because I CAN’T. STAND. the way she drives! But anyway. I didn’t indulge in any retail therapy… all I got was a migraine. (Which explains the title of this post… right now, getting hit by a truck would be much appreciated!!!) I’ve been getting them too frequently lately, and it has me extremely annoyed, to put it mildly.

Well, actually, I also went to Victoria’s Secret and finally found a bra that supposedly fits… or so they say. I think I’m just not used to wearing one like that, but whatever. I didn’t actually buy it, because I’m going to buy it online, but I guess I did accomplish something. And speaking of bras…

Yasmin passed this on to me a couple of days ago…

I really do treasure each and every one of you! But to pass it on to seven bloggers… (Sorry if you’ve already received it!)

Sophia
Katie
Stef
Ellie
Katie
Emily
Emma

I was hoping to have a chance to just chill out tonight and enjoy the fact that it’s a long weekend, but I think I am now going to remove my head from my shoulders and bash it to smithereens. Then it will feel a little better.

Epic Post

Warning: This post is going to be really L-O-N-G, so if you plan to actually get through it, I’d advise you to make sure you’re comfortable!

Have you ever noticed that the passengers who own the luggage that is first deposited on the baggage carousel are never there first? I was there before the carousel began to move, and this distinctive purple suitcase was the second or third piece of baggage off the belt. When I finally left half an hour later, it was still going around in circles!

Backtracking a bit to yesterday morning, in the taxi on the way to the airport, I recall looking down at my legs and wondering how they could possibly be so pale after I had spent all that time in the sun. When I got off the plane, I had to walk about seven hundred miles to get to customs, and I noticed that sometime during the flight, my legs had taken on a very pinkish hue. I guess my hour of reading by the pool yesterday morning (sans sunscreen… whoops!) must have had some effect. Thank goodness I wasn’t wearing a swimsuit! As it is, just my legs and a bit of my arms / chest are burned, and that’s bad enough. Note to self: avoid exposing bendable body parts, such as elbows and knees, to direct sunlight. Those pictures that I posted a couple of days ago? Yeah, apparently burns hurt less when you’re burned through sunscreen. Weird. And I never seem to travel with both aloe and sunscreen, because if the sunscreen will work, why would I need aloe?! I hate that stuff… it leaves my skin green and sticky and just ewww. (Come to think of it, that applies to sunscreen too, minus the green part!) Inserting a photo of my lovely pink legs, and the oddly-shaped burn on my chest… I seem to get oddly-shaped burns! Got to love the pale spot where my necklaces were lying. :p

Airports, I’ve decided, are transient places. This makes it easier to pretend that anything that happened there, didn’t actually happen. With this thought in mind, I dug out the Nana’s cookie bar I’d toted all the way to Barbados… at this point, I had more crumbles than anything else! But I took a photo of it anyway. It helps a little that it doesn’t actually look much like a cookie. I wouldn’t know if it tastes like a peanut butter cookie, because I’ve never had one. They aren’t bad, really. It’s just the name that freaks me out.

I do have a somewhat … annoying habit of taking photos out of plane windows. Goodbye, Barbados… 😦

…but look, we’re in heaven! (Ha. Ha. Ha.)

Today began in the most frustrating of ways. My alarm rang at its usual time, and I got out of bed to hear the bathroom door close… fine time for my brother to decide to hog it, hmmm? So that threw my schedule off a bit, but okay, no big deal, I’ll live. Then began the ordeal which makes me so grateful for digital cameras, it’s not even funny, because this isn’t the first time this has happened!

I needed to A) get my underwater camera film developed, and B) get a passport photo for my C-card. I went to Walgreens, and shock of shocks, the machine is down… so I went to the next-nearest Walgreens, ten blocks away. Their machine is being repaired, and I probably wouldn’t have the photos back before I had to leave work. They told me to go to the nearest Walgreens… from where I had just come! Instead, I re-traced my steps ten blocks and dropped off the camera at Duane Reade. I couldn’t get my passport photos there, though, because apparently the girl who does it was running late. But there is a Duane Reade around the corner from my office with a neon “Passport Photos” sign in the window, so I trekked another ten blocks there… only to be told that they don’t do it anymore, and I should go to the Duane Reade five blocks away. No, thank you, but take the sign out of the window!

I did eventually get my passport photos… I have a sneaking suspicion there was some price-gouging going on there, but whatever. I also got my underwater pictures! I will spare you most of them, since Blogger takes f-o-r-e-v-e-r to upload photos… but here are just a few of them. (That creature-like thing down there in the third photo? … I’m pretty sure that’s me. ;))



Since I’m home, *sniff* I decided to “cook” — this doesn’t actually count as cooking per se, but it’s closer than I’ve come in a few days!! I tried tempeh for the first time:

Since it was the lemon flavor, I tossed one of my favorite Steamfresh varieties with lemon juice, garlic powder and onion powder.


It was definitely interesting… I don’t know if it’s the texture or what, but it’s different than what I’m used to. I do have the other two varieties (BBQ and teriyaki) in my refrigerator, so I’ll see how they compare!

And since I stuck in some food photos, Product Alert… well, not for me, but you know. I like that these are pretty portable, and they don’t taste nasty either… a rare combination, I’ve found!

Needless to say, I am not exactly pleased to be back, cooking opportunities aside. Work is always crazy when I get back from a vacation… once I plow through the pile that’s accumulated on my desk while I’ve been gone, I need another vacation! And my mom is driving me absolutely insane, saying that my shirt is too low-cut (she does this every time I wear a shirt like this, which happens, um, pretty much every day in the summer… and gets kind of old), and that “it would be one thing if you had something to show off!” Which isn’t actually true, because I got the same speech when I was heavier. Can I go back to some deserted island somewhere? Please?

Oh well. At least it’s a long weekend! Hope you all have a good one… and major props if you actually made it through this entire post!!