Saturday Night Blues

Someone has some schoolwork to do.  Someone doesn’t feel like doing it, and so is procrastinating… and hopefully will not forget to actually do it before it is due on Wednesday.  Because that someone can be prone to doing things like that… even though I have an extra day off work to do it.

I did some fine-tuning on my protein pancakes; I added a pinch of salt and a dash of cream of tartar, and I beat the All Whites a little.  If I had had more time, I would have whipped them into peaks… anyway, I let the batter sit for a few minutes, and I microwaved the pancakes for a shorter time.

The edges were still a bit tough, but the inside was much better.  It was a lot heavier than a “conventional” pancake, but I don’t mind that… so long as I’m not breaking my teeth!  Still, it requires some more tinkering.  I have a feeling that this would work a lot better on a griddle.  Or maybe with whey protein powder (I used soy), but that’s not so easy for me to obtain.  Must work on that.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I hate to eat with my hands.  That’s probably part of the reason why I avoid sandwiches.  I begrudgingly eat them when I have no choice (i.e., on nights that I have class), but I definitely don’t like to eat them when I am home.  But — behold what happened on Friday (in my house):

Whole wheat pita with a Garden Gourmet veggie burger; butternut squash “fries” with cinnamon, chili powder, and paprika.  Much as I love cinnamon, it tasted kind of weird here.  And I didn’t “sweat” the squash enough, so they weren’t as firm as I would have liked, but they were still good.

And for those of you who were envious of the pretty white snow, you can stop feeling that way now.  It’s turned into this.

Yeah.  Lovely, right?

I went to Blockbuster tonight, and as I was leaving, a horde of screeching girls came in … wearing plastic tiaras and pink feather boas.  I’m guessing they were having a party of some sort.  It made me think of when I was their age (I’m guessing they were around ten), and slumber parties were the most fun thing ever.  How on earth can one person change so much??

My therapist brought up “the medication issue.”  Again.  Not anti-depressants this time, because I’m oh-so-happy, don’t you know?  Now, apparently, I’m obsessive.  Yes, okay, I’m not really denying that.  But I’ve been that way all my life.  As long as I’m not disrupting every aspect of my life because of it, why should I shove chemicals in me that will do more harm than good?… Because I know they will.  I’ve tried it before, and the resulting situation was not pretty.  It irritates me when she constantly brings up this issue.  I’m not against medication at all; I’m against medication for me.  And I hate that I can be accused of “wanting to stay sick” because of my stance on this; especially since it makes me doubt myself and wonder if maybe, just maybe, that might actually be true.

For those of you who celebrate Valentine’s Day, have a great one… and for those of you who don’t, have a great one anyway.  ;p

“Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.”
~Albert Camus
(I think it should say “to seem normal,” but yeah, that’s me)

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10 responses to “Saturday Night Blues

  1. sorry that your therapist is pushing you on the medication thing. seems like a lot of us bloggers are having issues in that department lately! only you know what’s best for you and i agree that if you don’t see your “obsessing’ as really affecting you negatively then it’s probably bettr to shy away from meds. just remember there’s no shame in them if you decide to go that route! i think the “someone” you’re describing is ME ;) your protein pancakes look yummy!

  2. Sometimes, nights in are the best! Your yucky snow looks like mine! Walking through my campus has been like walking through a slush pit surrounded by ice! I have avoided leaving my office/building unless needed!
    I also get irritated when my therapist brings up meds. I finally agreed to a tiny tiny dose of Lexapro and really want to get off it. I saw changes, but I would honestly rather be creating those changes myself rather than have a med do it for me, if that makes sense.

  3. I really wish doctors would quit pushing medication on people! There is hardly a person I know that has benefitted from it!

    Your veggie burger and sweet potato fries look really good! :)

  4. Those sweet potato fries look awesome. I am tired of the snow also. It is beautiful but I’m sick of it.

  5. boo meds. ew. how can you hate eating with your hands! that is the best!

  6. Sorry to hear about your doctor pushing the meds on you; I’ve been in similar situations many times, and I have pretty much the same stance… meds aren’t for me. I’m not denying that they help many people in many situations, but I’ll stay away from them for the time being.

    Hope you have a good Valentine’s, hun. Treat yourself extra special today :)

  7. I think it goes without saying that I’m totally in support of your decision to refuse medication. Doctors just love to medicate people into submission so that they become walking zombies, but at least they’re ‘normal.’ Just reminds me of One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s nest every time something like this happens. I’m sure they’d give us all labotomies or ECT if they were allowed to. I’m the same: I’m not anti-meds, but I’m pro-choice. They do not work for some people, and the medical profession needs to acknowledge that and stop labelling us as unco-operative/stopping treatment altogether because we know our own minds and bodies. It’s as if it’s somehow wrong or shameful to be different, and every negative emotion has to be suppressed.

    Your sqaush fries look lovely :) And you’re so much more refined and ladylike than me: it’s all I can do to STOP myself from eating with my hands. Cutlery just requires too much effort…actually I have been known to forego a knife and fork altogether and just eat with a spoon :P
    <3

    ~Jess~
    xoxoxox

  8. At least your doctor didn’t put you on an medication for appetite stimulation. The medicine I’m taking has so many side effects it’s insane. I don’t even know for sure what it’s suppose to treat really but one of the side effects was increased appetite so thats what I was given….No bad effects yet but if anything arises I’m sueing!

  9. Pingback: “Confession” « Blue Eyed Heart

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