I’m constantly referring to this mythical list of products I like that are no longer in existence… so I am finally going to actually list the list! (I know that some of the foods on the list actually are still around; but they’re on my list because their kosher status has changed so that I can no longer have them. Also, these aren’t all necessarily things I would want right now; but at one time I did, and they were nowhere to be found!) This is by no means a complete list, either… but it should give you a general idea.

This was one of my recent obsessions… so it figures that they’re no longer available. (Actually, that isn’t entirely accurate. That company still makes cinnamon sugar flat bread, but now it’s “low fat” instead of “fat free,” which wouldn’t be such a big deal, except that it doubled the calorie count. I don’t know how that’s possible, and it makes no sense according to the stupid exchange system to which I do not ascribe, and I wish it didn’t matter to me at all… but it does.) I went and bought out every package I could find; I don’t care if they get stale, because I like certain things better when they’re a little stale anyway, and this is one of them. But I only have about four or five packages left, and so I set about finding a solution… which I hit upon by using these spelt flat breads, sprayed with PAM and sprinkled with cinnamon and Truvia, and then heated in the toaster oven at a low temperature.

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I finally managed to get through to an actual human being with whom I could discuss the insurance issues. Apparently lots of people who waived received the cards, and I can just disregard it. It’s nice to know that the money you spend on insurance goes toward useless mailings rather than your medical bills, isn’t it?

Anyway, moving on.  It’s been a while since I posted one of these, so I will do it now, just for the hell of it… excuse my hair, it wouldn’t get out of my way.

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I went to the supermarket to buy a banana.  (I took my mom’s shopping list along with me because I felt stupid going to the supermarket to buy one banana!)  Let’s just say that someone who wanted to make a lot of banana bread would have been very happy indeed… they were so overripe, it was insane!!  I tried to take one off a bunch, and it detached from the stem.  Oops.  This was the least-ripe one I could get, and it annoyed me a little bit because I like bananas best when they’re perfectly yellow… which is purely an aesthetic thing, I think, since they actually taste better when they look “uglier.”

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There was an oh-so-exciting package (NOT!) from Amazon waiting for me when I got home today.  It contained a textbook on XHTML and HTML and I don’t even want to think what else because I practically have a panic attack doing that; and a pair of weight-lifting gloves.  I actually do need a new pair, but the only reason I bought it on Amazon now was because it seemed silly to pay for shipping when I could spend the same amount of money on the gloves and get free shipping — same total, but I actually get something out of it.  Anyway, to make a long story short, the gloves are men’s gloves.  Obviously, they are too big.  And it’s stupid to go through the bother of returning them, when essentially I didn’t even really “pay” for them… what to do?!

Here’s another “what to do” situation.  Advice / opinions welcome!  I came to the conclusion that I need a new backpack, because not only is mine too small now that I’m going to have to start stuffing my sneakers in there along with a food container, but I also need one with a computer pocket so that my netbook doesn’t get all banged up.  Here is proof of my neurotic indecisiveness: I now have not one, not two, but six computer backpacks.  Two of them aren’t actually here yet, because I ordered them online from Target, but the other four, I got in Kmart this morning.  I got four because I couldn’t make up my mind.  Take a look at the photo and you will understand.

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“Structurally” speaking, I like the one on the right the best.  But seriously?  The pattern of all those jumping people?  Yeah, not doing it for me.  And the one next to it is my second-favorite, but the color scheme is one I would have adored… when I was about twelve!  I just can’t see myself wearing something that blinding.  The second from the left is just too small, and I don’t like it; I think I knew that when I bought it, so I don’t know why I bought it, but whatever.  Based on this process of elimination, that means that unless one of the backpacks from Target meets all of my crazy criteria, I’m going to end up with the one on the left.  Because the backpacks from Target, you see, are actually black.

Snapple “Real Fact” #706: Steel is 100% recyclable.  I think it’s sort of funny that people are more likely to carry around steel a water bottle which is 100% recyclable and keep reusing it, but throw out a plastic bottle which is not 100% recyclable.  Then again, just because the Snapple cap says it, does not mean it is actually true…

Random J-ism for you: he randomly came over to my desk today and asked, “How are you?”  I said, “Fine.”  He started to laugh.  I said, “What?”  He said, “You’re smiling, so I’m smiling.”  A) I wasn’t smiling; and B) he wasn’t either, he was laughing like an idiot.  I said, “So if I cry, you’ll cry too?”  He said, “Maybe; don’t test me!”  OH-kay.

Wow, I am so disjointed… jumping around from topic to topic with no connections between any of them!  To continue that pattern, I met my friend for lunch today.  She told me that she’d had a sandwich for breakfast so she wasn’t going to get any food, but she would sit with me for the company.  I was positively horrified because, as I’m sure you can imagine, I did not take kindly to the idea of someone sitting and watching me eat… she did get food in the end, but I felt a little bit like a manipulative hypocrite, because don’t I tend to do that — go to a restaurant with people and not eat?!  (Though in my defense, I make that clear before we’re actually in the eating establishment.  Not that that makes it all better, or anything.)

Tomorrow is just going to be a total barrel of fun — I have both therapy and my nutritionist.  Whee.  Feels like a total lose-lose situation for me on all counts… my therapist apparently agrees with me when I say that it doesn’t matter what I do / don’t eat if I gain weight anyway; my nutritionist vehemently disagrees and will be displeased with me even if I gained five pounds in the past week, because I wasn’t 100% compliant.  Major sigh.  This probably goes without saying, but I’m going to say it anyway: I am so sick of this.  Presumably I’m not sick enough of it, because if I was, I would just get over myself already and “snap out of it” instead of letting myself feel so terrified about these stupid inane things… how many years of my life do I have to waste on this crap?!  And why is knowing that just not enough???

There just are no more words in me right now to express anything at all.  So with that, I hope you all have a lovely Thursday.