Yak Yakkity Yak!

Confession time. This morning at my gym there was a free nutritional / weight loss assessment… I didn’t want the weight loss assessment, but I wanted to know my muscle mass. Cue problem: that requires one’s weight. I tried to resist the allure, but I failed at that. That I didn’t collapse in paroxysms of tears probably means that I’m in trouble. So now I know my muscle mass / body fat percentage / water weight. All of which is probably a load of bull anyway. How exactly has this enhanced my life?!

Last night, my dad actually did get back in time for me to go to the pool. I was so happy because I thought that I’d finally get a chance to decompress from a crappy day, but since it just wasn’t my day, I got there to find out that the pool was closed for repairs!! So much for that. I’m hoping that I got all the “bad day” stuff over with for the week, and that the rest of it will be better.

This morning I decided that I don’t care if this is juvenile, I’m wearing boots so nobody will see them anyway and I need something cheerful. So I dug my Tweety socks out of my drawer!

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Quick appointment recap… the urologist was actually really nice. It’s too bad I had to sit and wait to see him for nearly two hours, though! He said it’s not uncommon in people who had this problem when they were kids, but it’s treatable and blah blah blah… so now I get to have a really uncomfortable test done in June. Yay. Oh, but guess what else I found out?? … Urologist, urinalysis, they kind of go hand in hand… and apparently I have protein in my urine. Which is obviously not a very good thing. But this scares the crap out of me because my mom just had a massive kidney stone attack before we went to Israel, and honestly, I’d rather shoot myself in the eye than go through that. I have to give him a random repeat sample in a couple of weeks to see whether it was just a fluke… if it wasn’t, I get a referral to a nephrologist. Whee. I don’t have time for these things!! Oh, yeah, and the nurse told me that my acid level is high and that I should drink more… I nearly fell off my chair. I’m practically made of water already!

As for my nutritionist appointment… I wasn’t “fired,” but I am embarrassed to say that I manipulated things (to be euphemistic!!) … it’s so stupid, I’m not paying for treatment to pull crap like that!! I’m really only shortchanging myself by not being honest, and that has got to stop. Like, NOW.

Okay. Bar of the Day… again, not new to me at all. This one is pretty much the standard!

There are certain things I really wish I liked (i.e., cottage cheese!) … some of them I never, ever will, like fish. But I keep trying to like nuts. And this seems to have helped… because I think I might like them.

And finally, a PSA for apple lovers!! I didn’t actually end up eating this one, because I was too busy steaming in the urologist’s waiting room, but still. Run out to your nearest supermarket and try to find Jazz apples, and if they don’t stock them, demand that they do so!! I can honestly say that these are the best apples I’ve ever tasted in my life. Before I found them, I loved Braeburns and Fujis — and what do you know, the Jazz apple is a hybrid between the two. So run run run!!

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7 responses to “Yak Yakkity Yak!

  1. I’m glad you recognize that you were being manipulative with your nutritionist. I used to do that a lot with my nutritionist as well, telling her there we no problems, everything was fine and dandy.

    It took me a while to overcome that and just speak the truth, but when you can, it’s so very insightful.

    Loveyababe.

    -E

  2. Yeah it’s hard to be honest with your treatment team sometimes, but it’s good that you realized you’re only hurting yourself and will work hard on being 100% truthful about your struggles from now on! LOL I love nuts way too much, I wish I could give you some of my appetite for them! Can’t help you out with the cottage cheese though…blech! About the body composition assessment…about a month ago when I had a major freak out about my weight I actually went out and bought this hella fancy scale that does body fat % and water weight on top of REGULAR weight (supposedly, I’m not convinced those are accurate!) and ya, it hasn’t helped me at all except for give me something new to obsess over! It’s hard to resist those things, but we’ve got to keep trying!

  3. The only basis for the ED is lies. Lies we tell ourselves and others. I am so glad that you recognize this. Truth is key in recovery. It is hard but to truly recovery is to be honest with yourself and others.

  4. Did you speak to your nutritionist about the urologist appointment? I’ve had protein show up in urine tests before and it was ED related. I’m glad you can see that lying to your nutritionist is NOT helping- but on the same token, I did the same thing in NY when they were going to “fire” me so I can understand where you are coming from. At the end of the day, it’s their job to help you and they can’t do that if you aren’t honest. They also can’t help you if they fire you obviously…ack. Wish I had more helpful advice on this- I ended up getting dumped by my team and coming back to the UK. Which nutrition place do you go to BTW?

    I tried the banana chocolate NuGo bar after T pointed them out saying you had introduced her to them! :)

    As for the body mass testing things, those things are as reliable as scales (ie, a glass of water pre-test vastly alters the results) so ignore it!

  5. Eek. I know how you feel about lying to your treatment team. But it's gotta STOP! It does absolutely NO good, and in the end, you're just giving in to ED and harming yourself even more.

    Take care of yourself, chica <3

  6. Aaack the lure of number porn :P I would have a hard time resisting that too! I’m sorry to hear about the dodgy urology results – I’ve had kidney stones a few times and they are no fun, definitely worth choosing the discomfort of a test over the agony of stones. I’m glad you weren’t ‘fired’, hopefully next time you see your nutritionist you won’t feel you need to…influence things!

  7. Pingback: Just a Pictorial « Blue Eyed Heart

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